the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

This blog post brought to you by Leone de Castris Villa Santera Primitivo di Manduria 2010,* a rather amazing "low-end" wine (9.50E) I purchased on a whim at the Duty Free shops in Roma before my flight yesterday. This wine is, well, brilliant. It's dry but smooth and subtle, with a light fruity aftertaste. A good all-around wine. I'd recommend it with anything you fancy, although something spicy** might waste the full flavor. This bottle would go nicely with a lightly-seasoned steak, for example, or a can of Pringles, neither of which would overpower its soft red-winey flavor.*** If you have a bottle of this and you don't really like wines, it would make a wonderful gift to someone who does (like me). If you do like it, however, this is definitely one of those wines you want to drink from a glass, if possible.

* I have no idea what grape this is. Half the fun of traveling in Italy is trying red wines with uninterpretable labels. Just avoid the Lambrusco.

** When you eat spicy stuff--hot Chinese, Mexican, Thai--just get some Mad Dog to wash it down. Your tastebuds will be in remission after the first bite, anyway.

*** I love reds and I can taste the differences in them very well, but I can't divide them into specific flavors. To me, this is like taking a bite of someone's chocolate cake and saying, "Mm. Smooth egg in the mix. Could have used a touch more powdered sugar. Too much body, though. A pinch too much baking soda. And where did you get this chocolate? It tastes Peruvian, probably picked before the beans were completely ripe. An acceptable cake for pot-lucks, but don't serve this to your relatives at Christmas unless you buy the Mayan chocolate."

All joking aside, it is a surprisingly nice wine, and this post came about because Lorraine asked me if I had any thoughts to extend to people who will be traveling in Turkey soon. I've been thinking about this question, because by now, I've been here so long that it feels like normal life to me. But I do have a few thoughts, which I present as they occur to me. Like usual.

If the travelling friends enjoy drinking alcohol (since I'm on the subject already), I recommend they purchase what they like from a duty free shop in another country before they fly into Turkey. Turkey has some acceptable wines (depending on your standards), but the more acceptable they are, the higher the prices. You can also get American booze here, but brace yourself to pay black market prices. Your best bet is probably to not drink at all, but if you do, occasionally buy an Efes pilsner with meal.

Overall, what should you know?

1. Turks are incredibly generous, loving, warm people, but they will charge you five times what they'd charge a fellow Turk for any given item if they think they can get it out of you. Their religious beliefs (even if they are only nominally Muslim) as well as their culture from birth has made them into gracious people. At the same time, their economy here is footloose and fancy free, so you can't blame them for trying to get a few extra bucks whereever they can.

How do you cope with this, though? There are a couple of ways. First, if possible, know the value of what you are shopping for (particularly true in the case of carpets) before you go. Don't buy the first carpet you stumble across that you like; there are millions, so take your time and learn how the business works first, if you can.

Another way to get great prices is to go carpet shopping during the off-season (when the cruise ships have all docked elsewhere for the winter), then be only moderately interested in what they have to sell.

2. As you walk through the markets (ours is the "Kameralti," but I think it's known as the "Grand Baazar" in Istanbul), you'll walk past people who will immediately recognize that you are a tourist. They will actually address you in a variety of languages to see which you respond to, but you'll probably only snap to when they say, "Where are you from?" If you don't expect it, it will make you stop and turn (like in The Dirty Dozen, when a couple of escaped Americans are nabbed by a German soldier pretty much that same way). If you respond to them, they'll make themselves a part of your party uninvited, then do anything they can to find out what you're shopping for and direct you to the people they work for. If they get you into a friend's shop and you buy something, you've paid too much and too much again, because your "friendly" guy gets a cut just for bringing you there. Of course. I've learned to ignore them completely and just keep walking. They'll still walk up beside me sometimes and pursue the "relationship": "Where are you from?" I'll say, "I'm from It's None Of Your Business."

3. How do they know you're a European/American/tourist?

Like dogs, they can just smell it on you.

That was meant as a joke, but in all fairness, we do stick out, particularly in the summer heat. We'll dress down to very light, short-sleeved shirts and shorts of some sort. Most (male) Turks will wear a white shirt (usually long-sleeved, starched) and black pants even in the summer heat. We sweat. They don't seem to, but they must do because they usually stink.* This means they eat Turkish fare and their body breathes it out. Also, showers are not necessarily a daily routine for many here.**

* I sweat and stink. The two go together in my world.

** Again, I see the wisdom here. You're sweating all the time. What good does a 5-minute shower do?

Another way they can tell you're American:

- You're LOUD. Americans yell at one another at the dinner table compared to most cultures, with the possible exception of Italy.

- If you're like me, you carry a backpack. Here, only schoolchildren carry backpacks to and from school. Otherwise, even if people are hiking to the market for veggies, they will NOT take a backpack. They'll come back lugging several bags of vegetables in their hands, but Allah forbid they use a backpack.

- You will try to obey the pedestrian laws, like waiting for the crossing light and crossing at marked intersections.

You idiot. No self-respecting Turk would do that. We walk where we need to walk, and it's understood that our time is just as valuable as everyone else's. We time our crossings based on the speed of the car coming at us, then saunter off in front of him. I have, no kidding, become a world-class street-hiker here in Izmir.

- You'll eat at McD's and such, and if this is the case, I can only pray for y'all. There are three "greatest world cuisines," and they are French, Chinese, and Turkish. Why? I think it has much to do with access to a variety of fresh fruits, vegetables, and meats since antiquity, but also an access to a variety of interesting spices. If you are in Turkey and you eat at Burger King, you are not experiencing one of the best things Turkey has to offer the world. Your loss.

4. Know that these are people who have been here for centuries and have been through a helluva a lot more shit than you have. Then appreciate how they live--how to live. They work, but they also know how to stop for an hour or so, enjoy a cup of chai with friends and maybe play a game (of tavla (backgammon)) before they go back to work, then go home to their families. They are very good people. Warm. Don't miss this.

5. Take your time. You're on vacation. I don't care what your schedule is: if it's so tight it stresses you out to adhere to it, the problem is with you*--not with your hosts.

* My friend Damon calls this The Clipboard of Fun.

6. Stop as often as you can and just look around. Breathe deep. Close your eyes and listen. What you feel, smell, and hear is Turkey. Absorb it.

7. Learn some basic words. I do this everywhere I go, and it isn't because I plan to become fluent in that language. I know better. But what I do know is this: learn the basic courtesies. Learn to count. Learn "large, small." Learn no and yes. And use them. Also? when a Turk says "Hos(h)chekalin" that means "Welcome!" Your response is "Hos(h)bulduk!" Learn these things. You won't speak Turkish when you get there, but know how to say please (lutfen) and thank you (tes(h(ekuler). Just put forth the effort. It's basic respect.

8. Have a nice catered meal from time to time, but eat at the kabob places where the locals eat. Yes. Do eeet.

9. Be aware of the fact that the Turkish people are beautiful. Italians are also beautiful, but so are Turks. Appreciate and enjoy the scenery.

10. Oh yeah. Know that there are dogs and cats everywhere. Mostly large dogs and average cats, all strays. The Turkish government funds the veternary care of these critters. If the dog has a tag in its ear, it's had its shots; if the cat's ear is notched, it has had its shots. Most of these animals will live alongside everyone else in big cities but keep their distance. Some, however, are quite domesticated.

For example, I bent over to scratch a kitten at work a couple of months back, and he jumped onto my back and laid down and purred when he got there. So there was I was, standing but leaning on my knee, thinking...now what?

Be aware, of course, that the state can only keep limited tabs on the strays, so some of them slip through the crack on the shots. It would be crazy to be afraid of all of them, but...just be cautious.

11. Try Ayran. It's a traditional drink normally offered in lieu of cokes. Ayran is Mediterranean yoghurt watered down with a bit of salt added. It tastes like buttermilk, but it's not as tangy or viscous. Some people hate it. I love it. But try it. :)

12. At least a couple of times in your visit, avoid the directed tours, get a map, and strike out toward someplace you think interesting. Take a camera. Have no real goal (just an "I'd like to see this") and no designated return time. Take your camera and some petty cash. Watch and listen to the people you pass. Eat somewhere local where no one speaks English and  you aren't even sure what they'll give you. See what the day brings.

13. Trade good English phrases for good Turkish ones as you go. Many Turks are working on English, and they welcome any polite help they can get with learning the tongue. At the same time, you need some Turkish phrases, so trade. Preferably over dinner.

Most of all, whoever you are, enjoy your stay here. Turkey is truly wonderful.

d