the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

very good start for a discussion that’ll prolly never happen.

all of this is starting to make me realise that I’m still asexual. Dating someone–who’s really nice and VERY good-lookin’–and everything, but I’m still very asexual.

discussions like this confuse me.

Interesting. I didn’t know, before now, that my baby brother had a blog, also—and at first, I couldn’t figure his out so I could read the entire post.

There is a point that neither of you noted, and one that I only recently came across again. During Abraham’s time, the wife whose husband died before giving her a child was expected to be married to the next male in the husband’s family, to have his brother’s child by her. And it went down through the family, until she finally had a child (male? it doesn’t say.)to carry on the first husband’s line!

Keep writing, Di! Love you!

Dear One, I really don’t know where to start. I put, on my blog, the minute I found your responses, my answer to what you wrote there. When I read here, I find that you personalized everything you read, to the point that it is all about your. Sorry, my dear. This is something I have thought about, off and on, for many years. And you, nor I, nor your brother and his wife, nor my parents, nor my wife, were ever in my mind, either before, nor during, nor after the writing.

Please read on.

In response to number one, I drop the conversation, because you seem to always limit the dialog to those assumptions you feel safe with. You have always, heretofore, delineated precisely those points that would be most beneficial to look at with an open mind, which you personally believe you have, but generally have nothing of the sort, and made them off limits. I do have limits to what I want to discuss, and those are very few indeed. I prefer to never, never, never, make anything like this, especially in a public forum, personal, to anybody. Religion is very personal, but can be discussed without being personal. By the way, as before, I am angry because you have chosen to make my blog a part of something very public. I want it to be public, but you have made it so in a very personal way. You did me wrong, and you know it.

As far as your footnote on the Jews, I specifically played on the part I wanted to use to grasp attention. I was not trying to preach a sermon on the history of Israel, or the Jews, on the law of Moses, or Christianity, or anything else. It was strictly a line to gain interest from a specific segment, and I really doubted you, or any gay person for that matter, would bother to read it. I have chewed at some length on the idea that some things I want to put on my blog would be for a specific or several specific interests, and I have no idea how to separate them so that they will not drag people in who will be incensed, or just be bored silly. Maybe you could help me on this.

As for your brother and his wife, I continue to be very pleased with his choice. I had the privilege of visiting with her parents, and fell in love with both of them. I fell in love with his wife. And I have loved him, even as I love you, from the first moment I knew life existed in your Mother’s womb.

I never intended to choose for you whom you should marry. My greatest desire for you is your happiness in this life. Since you don’t (if I remember correctly-I’m sure you will correct me if I am wrong) believe in life after death, (your choice. I am deeply saddened by that choice) , then my choice, of the two you have chosen to wish an answer to, must be the one you believe you will attain the most happiness with. The other choice is not necessarily the only one. There is, somewhere, a man you could have been equally happy with, who would not have beaten you, who would have loved you, and would have allowed you peace of mind as you desired. There is that 3rd choice, whether you admit it or not.

As far as my parents choosing my mate, they were not pleased. Not at first. I think, as time went by, they were very pleased that we had chosen a life together. Mother was always EXTREMELY partial to boys, and un-partial to girls. You probably felt very unloved in her presence. I couldn’t blame you.

I did not wish to intimate that I would be better off with someone other than Mother. To be frank, (I know you don’t accept this, but you asked) I think it was God’s choice, not mine or hers. I give her all the glory, if there is any, for our 48+ years together. I could not have chosen a mate to be so stedfastly with me, had I had a hundred years to ‘ween them out’.

I never asked either of them who they would have chosen. I don’t think it would have mattered much to me. The advice I gave is general in nature. Anything that fits everything, fits almost nothing very well. I don’t think it would have fit me at all, but I may have been surprised, had I had the opportunity to compare. I didn’t, I don’t, and I have no desire to.

When I converted to the Church, I was no longer ‘in heat’. It was a very deliberate, well studied choice. I was very aware that none of my family would be happy with this decision, but I was absolutely convinced of the rightness of it by literally hundreds of hours of independent study. I tried for all I was worth to prove the positions I was shown were wrong. I believed the bible, and I still do, while recognizing there are many technical errors in it, especially in translation. I listened to what many, many people said, regardless of their religious affiliation. It was my choice. Your Mother started me studying. I went to worship with her, a little. I studied on my on. It was a decision I did not want to make, but after all those hours of study, I could make no other.

I did not ever think love and sex were the same thing. I was appalled, when I was about 15, to hear an acquaintance of mine voice the opinion that it was the same. I never believed that you thought it was the same. Again, I did not once think of you as I put this article together. It was not about you, no matter what you think. The world doesn’t revolve around you. I love you, but I think of hundreds or thousands, or multiples of those together, of other things. Sorry to disappoint you, but you must feel guilty. :)

I don’t recall stating that the Bible is to be believed. I stated that I believe it. I used a comment from it, perhaps a bit generalized, in one of my statements. I tried to not place much emphasis at all on the Bible, but to one such as you, any mention appears to be to much, even when it only applies to me.

As for point 8, please don’t misquote me. In the first place, I probably didn’t make clear that this “rule” should be used before a commitment to marriage or shacking up. If you are already married, and are being beaten, the only safe thing, in my opinion, is to get out quickly. I never meant to imply that a battered woman would benefit from this, or a battered man, for that matter. You have a first cousin who fits that category, I understand. The choice was already made, and commitment was already a reality. This is the result of not properly checking out the prospective mate, before committing to marriage. What may have worked well before, adds to the fury now.

I made no effort to point out what point in life is best to choose for oneself a mate. The reason is, I have no idea. I know that reasonably speaking, in our society, the ability to commit to marriage usually comes much later, perhaps in the mid to late twenties for most people, if divorce records are any indication. There could be not specific age that would ever work for everyone, and age is not the important factor. The greatest is a mature knowledge of permanance in a relationship, as well as the ability to commit to it, and the ability to choose one who has a good solid ability him/her self.

You have sucessfully pried out of me many things that I had no intention of adding to my thots. Please do me a favor, and do not further link to my blog. I deeply appreciate your input to it, and I am thrilled when I see your name as a contributor. Your thoughts are very important to me. But believe me, I have no intention of being personal on my blog. My greatest plan is to hone what meager writing skills I have, do word pictures, and write what I have learned that works for me. If it is not something that you want for yourself, that is fine, so far as the blog goes. Also, I appreciate it very much when you allow my answer to be in the forum in which the question arises. If you wish to attack me, do it on my turf, please. I will grant you the same favor in the future. Love you much. Daddy

How interesting.

I pointedly kept my attack to my blog, just as I would keep such a thing to my own Facebook page. It has been my repeated experience with the religious that they will often carefully choose what they feel merits being published (and being allowed to remain) in territories they control. Also, I feel it’s more polite (strange choice of words, I know) to attack people in my own “home” rather than theirs. Hence, I wrote my comments here.

I realize the world doesn’t revolve around me, but I still find the “coincidence” of what you posted and when…curious. And now you say you didn’t really mean it regarding anyone’s relationship in particular; they’re all just fine, as it turns out, without parental guidance.

Then why did you make that argument in the first place? It makes no sense at all.

“My greatest desire for you is your happiness in this life.”

Greater, even, than I repent of my sins and return to The True Faith? Because…sincerely: thank you.

“There is, somewhere, a man you could have been equally happy with, who would not have beaten you, who would have loved you, and would have allowed you peace of mind as you desired. There is that 3rd choice, whether you admit it or not.”

Two things:

1. The question, perhaps poorly written, was this: GIVEN THE CHOICE between A (a man with whom I’m miserable, who beats me and drags me to church) and B (a woman I love very much who treats me right), which would you choose for me?

I think you would choose A, because B means I have no shot at heaven (in your belief system). Am I wrong?

2. Upon what do you base your belief that there’s a man out there who could make me just as happy as Mich?

Because you’re very, very wrong. But…until you stop basing all of your reasoning on the bible’s “truths” and instead learn from reality, I will never have a chance at convincing you of this.

How is it you chose the bible as The Inspired Book and not, well, any of the other divinely-inspired books of the world’s religions? On what basis did you reject all of them and decide upon the bible? Seems like a very important decision, so you must have put a great deal of study into it.

Or an alternate question which also gets to the heart of the matter: Let’s say the bible isn’t inspired after all. How would you know?

As to how to write your thoughts on topics so people won’t be incensed or bored silly, I guess that depends on the topic. I’m trying to imagine how you could have written “The Jews Had It Right” in such a way that it doesn’t make you sound like the Flat Earth Society, and I’m coming up blank. Might I suggest a great deal of specific example and contextualization? Then a bunch of clarification of what you’re thinking and who you think it would help.

Start with this: know who your audience is for your blog and speak to them. An audience consisting of “everybody” is an audience of nobody.

d

“you seem to always limit the dialog to those assumptions you feel safe with.”

For example?

“You have always, heretofore, delineated precisely those points that would be most beneficial to look at with an open mind…”

Such as?

“…which you personally believe you have, but generally have nothing of the sort…”

I expect we have very, very different ideas of what “having an open mind” means. My mind closes when someone asks me to accept extraordinary claims even though they lack extraordinary–or even any–evidence. You clearly do not have these limitations on your “open-mindedness.” Your “open-mindedness” begins and ends with what the bible says, which is what most people call “closed-mindedness.”

And…what, exactly, have I made off limits?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

d

Sweetheart, we have twice attempted to talk about things that we disagree on. The first was by gmail, and I have long since lost access to my old account there, and I have returned to the first web based (not based on my provider)account I opened. Therefore, that is no longer accessible to me. You specified a number of things you absolutely would not discuss, because you had discussed them with others, and considered it fruitless. The second was by email, I believe, and you immediately moved it to facebook, a very public forum, which I have come to detest. B y it’s very nature, it brings in people of like interest, and you (or I) gain support for our own ideas, and we cannot discuss anything openly and candidly, because we gain so much support and arrogance (yes, for both of us) from those who agree with us. It is extremely unprofitable for either of us, unless our purpose is to gain support for our own notions and ideas.
In that forum, you viciously attacked the author I wanted to discuss, and I simply dropped it, because you refuse a personal, limited to us, discussion or what we believe and why. It makes it look as though you want to hide behind the masses, rather than face the subject alone, without the support of anyone. That is not a discussion, it is raging harmones.

No, I chose B, because I want your happiness. That is the human, the father in me. You did not give me the option of wanting a christian man who would love you, care for you, etc. You choose not to believe in an afterlife. As such, heaven is beyond your reach. So I choose happiness for you now, since you reject eternal happiness.

I chose the bible originally because it was the only book presented. I didn’t know there was any other for many years. I choose it now for it’s internal evidences, which you steadfastly reject. I have seen more, and studied more fulfilments or prophecies in the bible than you probably know exist. A very few are obscure, and difficult. Most are in plain english, and the fulfillment is equally plain. I have meditated on the bible, probably as much as you have read it, and I recognize that is a very great deal. I study it to find out what it teaches. You study it, not, attempting to disprove it. Most of the objections of so called scholars, are those looking for anything at all to try to throw out the entire book. Scholarship seeks truth or reporting, not decimation of faith. Think about that.

If ‘The Jews had it Right’ is that much in question, then perhaps I need to delete it, and write my thoughts in a completely different way. They are my thoughts, from the time of your infancy, and are based on thought and observation. If I made that clear, would you accept the article, written without Bible notations of any kind? I wonder. Love you much. Daddy