the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

"it" what? (unknown antecedent.) random post follows.

And what does do we mean by "get" better, anyway? Is it anything like "getting" presents?

***

I am well. I am again engaged with life, interested, involved, and probably more "in/en" words I can't think of right now (except "inebriated," which I'm not).

Yesterday, I felt a bit on the manic side, but I'm told this happens occasionally when you're adjusting to new meds. Anyway, manic is a welcome change from depressed. I think manic-depressives wouldn't have a complaint if they only had the "manic" part and never had to pay the price. Come to think of it, yeah. We have depressives, manic-depressives, so surely we have manics. We just don't diagnose them with anything, because they're happy and productive and have no complaints.

We do, however, avoid spending too much time around them because let's face it--it's tiresome to be around upbeat people with too much energy. :p

***

Now that I've spent some time walking in the shoes of the overweight-and-inactive-and-too-depressed-to-do-anything-about-it and actually understand how one can reach that point, I've decided that we need a list of ways to feel thin without actually having to lose weight.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but I've come to believe this might be an effective way to change the vicious cycle. You know...that sense of failure, particularly when it continues week after week, that makes you simultaneously care and not care even more so you're more disappointed with yourself and you pointedly don't care what you eat even more.

I know it doesn't make sense, but psychology is like that.

So how do you feel thin without actually having to lose weight?

- Buy clothing that looks good on you and you feel confident in, instead of punishing yourself by squeezing into pants you just wish you could fit into.

- You can also go out for a pasta dinner one night, pig out, then weight yourself when you get home. Wait a couple of days (eating normally), then weight yourself again. Look at that! You lost a couple of pounds!

- Or you could use Rodney Dangerfield's method: Hang around people who are bigger than you. :)

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If you think that's all just silly, no problem. Here are some thoughts on how to feel better about yourself while you're otherwise fat and unmotivated:

- Don't clean your plate/empty your glass. (You may be stuffed beyond imagination, but it still feels good to push away from the table with something left in front of you. Self control! Yay!)

- I wouldn't know because I don't wear makeup, but I imagine putting on makeup makes a huge difference. Particularly if you're a man. (Me, I just make myself take a shower.)

- Get down on the floor and play with puppies, or pet a purring cat (unless you're allergic).

- Order a dinner salad instead of that huge honking burger and fries. Yeah...it probably has just as many calories as the burger, but you'll still feel better when you finish it. I can't say the same for the burger and fries.

***

As I ramble on about this, it occurs to me that I've spent years punishing myself when I ate too much or got bigger than I thought I should be. Why? Don't other people and life's ups and downs punish me enough?

You shouldn't reward yourself for "letting yourself go," of course, but punishment is so counterproductive. You starve yourself (which isn't fun) so you can lose a couple of pounds. This is usually followed by a binge of some sort (which oddly, isn't fun either), which gains the pounds back, and then you not only are back where you started but you are even more down on yourself.

Or we force ourselves to the gym until we hurt. Some muscle soreness is good. It means you're doing something. Too much is bad. It means you're punishing yourself. When you punish yourself, you won't keep going.

These rules don't hold for masochists, obviously. (If deep down at places you don't talk about at parties you really enjoy punishing yourself...I got nothin'.)

***

Yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that next week is Thanksgiving break. It snuck up on me.

We're having a Dinner for the Dispossessed. That is, we're again doing a spread for people who are stranded in the Springs without family. So far, we have ten people in the lineup. We'll have smoked turkey, Grannie's cornbread stuffing, a couple of pies, mashed potatoes, vegetable casseroles, and Bring Your Own Beverage. We'll have Wii games and movies in the theatre. We'll have a huge honking fire blazing in the greatroom, if it's cold out. We might even have a party in the pool later that evening. Who knows.

If you're dispossessed for Thanksgiving and in the Springs area, drop me a line. :) The more, the merrier.

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My focus is returning, too. I mean, really. I'm reading Herman Melville - and understanding it.

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Life is on the upswing. Here's to hoping it continues. B)

d