Welcome to Balad

That's my job.

I work in the plans flight of the communications ("comm") squadron here. We are in the business of taking requirements from anyone who wants anything communicationsy and passing those requirements along to those who actually do the work. You could call us "customer service," but that implies customers are being served. So we go by "Plans." That way, we sound official and necessary, but don't actually have to expend any energy, like any other figurehead.

Right. OK. Yeah, we work. We plan (hence the name) comm projects and monitor their progress. When things don't happen as they should--and they never do--the commander asks us why. Our job is talking to the people who do the work; figuring out what they need to do the job in terms of money, time, manpower and equipment; then planning and monitoring projects accordingly. Or maybe that's just the job as I see it, because I don't know enough about this stuff to do any of the thinking on my own. So, I ask those who know then plaigerize what they said.

I was recently put in charge of amassing the base requirements for a complex, sprawling system I'd never heard of before twelve days ago. I spent several days doing research and making calls in desperation, as usual.* Not only did I not know anything about the system--I also don't know how many Air Force units we have on post, let alone what each does or the operational structure of them. I am not alone in this.

* Such seems to be the perpetual plight of the officer. "Here. You're in charge of this thing you've never heard of. Make it happen."

So anyhow, after getting a marginal understanding of what the system offers and what it's used for, I began attempting to get a handle on who might be interested so I could offer it to the right folks, see how many bit the hook, and thereby formulate my requirement. At that point, we submit our requirement through the proper channels and it is eventually upchanneled to the proper SPO*, who then passes the requirement to the contractor, who fills the need.

* System Program Office; in this case, the military office that manages the contract for this system.

But wait. Apparently, the contractor that produces the system has been "leaning forward" with the as yet unformulated requirement for Balad--the one I'm struggling to put together. So the folks back at Hanscom "What does 'deployment' mean?" AFB started putting pressure on the folks at CENTAF who redistributed the pressure to my contact there who began to ping me with polite but insistent requests that I formulate the requirement yesterday because the contractor is chomping at the bit.

Cart, this is the horse. You're getting ahead of us.

At some point, the following email arrived in a chain of correspondence. This was written by a Capt in the SPO at Hanscom:

Please update me daily of how the J-6 coordination is progressing. I'm getting plugged for daily updates and if there are no daily updates, that seems to indicate to my bosses a lack of need for the system.

The lieutenant colonel in charge of Plans at CENTAF responded as follows:

Captain,
Not sure who you are referring to irt* "bosses"...but I would recommend they read the intel reports for Balad, and then call me. I would be happy to broaden their S/A** as part of this process.

* in respect to

** situational awareness

I like that man already.

My commander responded (Monday):

Thanks Brian.

We're all wearing our protective gear again, well except for one guy.

It's nice to see your brass sticking up for you, particularly if it's brass you've never even had the pleasure of meeting. And there's a certain emotional fulfilment in seeing a bureaucrat pushing papers and worried about what his boss thinks, to the exclusion of common sense, get put in his place, gently or otherwise.

d