day 1 of 30: ideas on how to cope with depression
By diana on Jul 29, 2014 | In capricious bloviations
I've been down lately. My "down" alternates between rage and...nothing. Neither is pleasant. I suppose I'd rather feel rage than feel nothing, but it's hard to say.
I finally decided to just...put it out there. The point is not to drag people down or worry them. But I know I need help when I'm down for too long. I just don't know what kind of help.
So today, I'm working* at home. I'm alone. I needed help. So...I posted a simple Facebook status: "I've been really depressed lately, often on the verge of tears. Maybe I should just get big bowl of chips, watch Up**, and get it over with?" (And if Up didn't do the trick, I know Legends of the Fall would.)
* Trying to work. One of the wicked side effects of depression is lack of focus and lack of interest. Luckily, my project for the day is just brushing up on the cadet honor code for a Newcomers' Orientation Briefing I'm giving Thursday. I can do that with limited brainpower, thank heavens.
** Up is the Disney film about the old man who makes his house fly by tying it to a bunch of balloons. Becky (my cousin) told me long ago what a wonderful movie it was, so one day, when I was deeply depressed, I figured I'd watch it to help myself feel better. Aaaaaand if you've seen the movie, you know what happened next. (If you haven't seen the movie, sort that mess out immediately!)
I know my friends love and care about me, but the discussion and suggestions they provided, in that thread and via private message, were terrific.
Here are some of the suggestions they've offered so far:
- If you're depressed and it isn't going away, maybe you should just wallow in it. Mark off about 48 hours and sleep, eat chips and ice cream, and watch sad movies. Think about everything you could possibly be upset about in your life and cry, cry, cry. At the end of hour 48, get your ass up, take a shower, get dressed, and take Mich to the nicest restaurant in town. (It may sound a bit twisted, but I think there's some gold there.)
- Go outside, sit on the porch in the sunshine, and read.
- A friend offered to get together with me sometime this week.
- Chicago Mix. Carmel corn and cheese popcorn in one bag. Costco. Guaranteed to whisk away depression.
- Do something artistic, with music or paints.
- Estrogen supplements?
- Watch the documentary Happy on Netflix.
- Ben and Jerry's Ice cream and strawberry twizzlers! Sit on the sofa and eat those and mope. The sugar rush might help bring you out of it.
Notice how much food enters into it? :)
- Chocolate cake.
- What Dreams May Come (another tearjerker, guaranteed to be cathartic)
- Eat a comfort food, and write an upbeat letter to a soldier in combat. (Complete with a mailing address.)
- I have a hypothesis that taking a dog to a dog park helps lift depression. Would you be willing to test it for me? Thanks.
- St. John's Wart.
- Call me because misery loves company.
- Find a way to exercise sitting down/without straining the injury.
- Write!
- Get a life coach.
Possibly one of the most useful things from this morning's discussions, though, was learning just how not alone I am. So many people go through the same thing I'm dealing with, and they tend to be the type of people I'd least expect to deal with depression, too: the energetic, funny, motivated, creative types. It did me the most good to just chat with two or three of these this morning, I think.
I'm convinced that the trick is in altering my thought patterns. I'm not sure how to do that, but I'll figure it out. A few things that I know help me by triggering a different thought pattern, if only for a little while:
- Reading (you have to be focused to do it, though, which can be a problem)
- Listening to music, playing music.
- Cooking.
- Chores. Sometimes, just doing something that allows me to see my accomplishment is all it takes to bump me back up to "feeling human again."
Alternately, there are always videos like this one to help me smile.
d
10 comments
Diana,
No, you’re not alone. Sometimes I wonder if the energetic, funny, motivated, creative types are most susceptible to the soul crushing that the modern rat race can inflict. Or maybe that’s just me. (Nah, can’t be. Energetic and motivated have never been used to describe me. And funny’s debatable.)
Seriously though, I wonder. What do you look forward to? I remember a time when you had a goal of teaching at the Academy. Check that one off. I remember you had some overseas duty to perform to be eligible for advancement as an officer. Check. You wanted to get married. Check. What’s left to work for? What do you want badly enough to get out of bed for every morning?
That’s the kind of situation I’m facing, and I wonder if that might be what you’re facing too.
Dave
I struggle with depression too. Accomplishing at least a few useful things every day, making sure I get out of the house a little bit every day even for a little while, and maintaining my creativity through art or writing definitely help.
I’m also more extroverted than I used to realize so making sure I hang out with friends at least once a week is vital too.
good luck sorting yourself out ~
I don’t get depressed very often, but I find that I can go outside awhile and usually not be so depressed when I have to go back inside. Writing also helps. And remembering how many people love me also helps. Make a list—-under Mitch, put my name. Then go from there.
I DO LOVE YOU!!!
Go fishing. I know you used to do so. There are plenty of lakes (albeit small and not really pretty) on the Academy. However, some of them have handicap access which is an advantage in your injured state. One of my favorite fishing holes was Eleven-Mile Canyon near Lake George. Beautiful scenery and good fishing. It’s about 1 1/2 hours away and costs extra to get into, but I it’s worth the time and expense.
Or drive into the mountains on one of the scenic byways. Colorado isn’t just the east side of the Front Range–which sucks. You need to get west of I-25 to really enjoy it. There are some good day trips along them close to where you live.
Another suggestion: Get down on the floor with your dog and hash out your feeling with him or her. Be honest with yourself and your dog about your depression. Your dog won’t judge you and offers a free shoulder to cry on. Bigger, fluffier dogs are best for a good hug. Small dogs aren’t really useful. They’re generally too nervous/spastic to allow you to relax. Definitely don’t use cats; they could care less.
Or just get down on the floor and play with the dog. A good tug o’ war session and a dog’s playful spirit will lift you out of depression in no time.
- Okay, okay, just one more. Watch Uma Thurman in the short film, “The Mundane Goddess.” Her therapist gives her some good advice translatable into any case of depression.
l read “The Happiness Project” last year - it has some valid suggestions, but I like “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” better. :)
Reflect on the positive. Every day, the kids and I have to choose 3 things that were good things for the day. It can be a simple as driving down the highway with the windows down, favorite song blaring. Sometimes, it’s just that I ate chocolate. The harder the day, the more important those three things are.
My Dad says plant something and watch it grow. I don’t know about the growing part, but I love to pull weeds when I’m in a funk. The digging/planting part can be great, too, since it’s physical labor with an immediate payoff.
My Mom has always said that cheering up someone else is the fastest way to cheer yourself up. Yeah. I like that one, but I’m fairly certain it’s been a long time since she practiced what she preaches.
I would never say that I struggle with depression, but I have a vested interest in arming my children against it.
Just one more thing. I think Dave’s right - you need a goal. I seem to remember my Dad saying that one, years ago. :)
Hey now. I didn’t say it would be 30 consecutive days!
Hmph. ;)
d
Diana,
Oh be nice, or we’ll turn it into “30 days of challenges.” (grin)
Dave
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