the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

What follows is my bastardization of a perfectly good recipe. 

I haven't felt well since Tuesday, so when I went home early again Friday (my freshmen are probably feeling a bit orphaned right now), I decided enough was enough. I've heard that homemade chicken noodle soup will work wonders, so I decided...ok. Time to break out the big guns. As I ambled* out of Fairchild Hall en route to my truck, I googled for a recipe. The first one I found that looked doable and properly homemade (apparently, there's a difference in the healing powers of chicken noodle soup from a can and that which is made from scratch, but why is a mystery to me) was this one from Country Living. Then I ambled through the commissary in a bit of a daze (seriously--there's something nasty going around) and picked up the ingredients and a box of Bandaids,* then came home.

* Because I was cooking, and there was chopping involved. Need I say more? 

Because I want to have it forever and ever AND tell y'all just how amazing it is, I'm copying their recipe here and adding my tweaks.** 

* A nice way of saying that I was dragon ass. 

** You knew there would be tweaks. I am physically incapable of just combining ingredients exactly as a recipe tells me to. 

• 1 (3 1/2-pound) (or, hey...5.5 lb) Whole Chicken
• 3 quart(s) Low-Sodium (pish. I love sodium) Chicken Broth
• 6 (8 or 9) Carrots, peeled 
• 4 stalk(s) Celery, ends trimmed (or as much as you want to add. You can't over-vegetable a good chicken soup.)
• 3 medium Onions, peeled
• 5 (or so) Black Peppercorns 
• 1 (or 3 :) ) clove(s) Garlic, crushed (specifically, 1 crushed and included in making the stock, the other two minced and added to the soup)
• 10 sprig(s) (a handful of) fresh Parsley 
• 2 sprig(s) fresh Thyme (same)
• 1 (3) Bay Leaf
• 2 tablespoon(s) (big glob of regular) Unsalted Butter 
• 4 Leeks, tops and root ends removed
• 1 teaspoon(s) Salt (meh. salt and pepper to taste)
• 1 teaspoon(s) Fresh-Ground Pepper
• 3 cup(s) (5 ounces) Medium Egg Noodles (or just pour in a bunch)
• 2 packages of Baby Bella Mushrooms, washed and sliced

1. Make the stock: Place the chicken and chicken broth in a large stockpot and set it over medium heat. Roughly chop 2 carrots, 2 celery ribs, and 1 onion and add to the broth. Add the peppercorns, 1 squashed clove of garlic, as many sprigs of parsley and thyme as you like, bay leaves, and enough water to just cover the chicken. Bring the broth to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer, and cook until the chicken is very tender -- about 1 1/2 hours* -- skimming the surface periodically (or not). Remove the chicken and place in a large bowl.** Strain the broth through a very fine sieve into a large, clean bowl or stockpot. Discard the vegetables.

1. Make the soup: Skim any fat off the top of the strained broth and discard (or skip this step altogether). Slice the remaining carrots, celery, onions, and leeks into 1/4-inch-thick pieces and set aside. Remove and discard the skin and bones from the chicken,* cut meat into 1/2-inch pieces, and set aside. Chop another buncha parsley leaves and set aside. While you're at it, go ahead and strip several more of those fresh thyme springs and just toss that in, too. Attaboy. Melt the butter in a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Go ahead and minch up a couple more garlic cloves and toss them in. Add the vegetables and cook until the onions are translucent -- about 7 minutes (or 15--maybe it's the altitude). Add the chicken, the reserved broth, salt, and pepper. Simmer the soup until the vegetables are tender -- about 1 hour. Stir in the egg noodles and parsley and all those amazing mushrooms and cook until the noodles are tender -- about 10 more minutes. Serve hot.

* Rewarding the dog periodically with big chunks of cooked chicken skin. The kitchen already looks like a cyclone came through, so what's a little more greasy stuff on the floor? Also, I'm not above bribing my dog to worship me.  

As an aside, I don't know what their issue is with the teensy bit of animal fat and properly salted stuff. I mean...they're going to salt the soup anyway, right? 

Anyhow...the recipe says it'll serve 16, but that's so misleading that I feel the need to correct it. This soup is mouthwateringly delicious (even BETTER when warmed up later), so everyone will get extra servings. Count on it happily serving about 6-8 people. ;)

And you know what? I do feel better. Much, much better. So it must be working. Q.E.D. 

d