the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

B'cuz, I do that sometimes.

I'm in Latina, Italy, again. This time, I'm doing a CIS* Staff Officers' Course for a week. Mich left three days ago and I miss her like mad. I was pretty okay for months there, because frankly, I'd managed to forget what I was missing. She stayed almost three weeks, though, so now I'm going through it all over again.

* Communications and Information Systems. Of course.

And what do I miss, exactly? you might ask.* I miss having someone to share my thoughts with most of all--and by "thoughts," I mean everything from my catty snarks to my random insights.** I miss having someone around who laughs at my jokes, even if they aren't funn...oh, who are we kidding. I miss having someone there who occasionally, out of the blue, makes contact. Sometimes this is just eye contact, a brief meeting of minds. Sometimes, she reaches out and touches me.

* Or, if you knew me better, you probably wouldn't.

** The ratio is probably about 95 : 5 on this, but I do have my moments.

It's weird, now that I think about it, how you can be surrounded by so many people all the time--some of which know you and a subset of those who actually like you--but to be starved for human touch. It has to be the right kind of touch, of course. It has to be intentional, and from the right person or persons.

RANDOM NOTE: I think I don't like caviar.

Anyway...I miss our conversations, too. That's how we met, you know. Online, via conversations prompted by a chance meeting on a discussion board aimed at--well, let's just say it wasn't designed to be a meet-up site for anyone. No ulterior motives. Just mutual interests and questions and honest, thoughtful exchanges.

Someday, maybe I'll tell that story, from my point of view. She already has--elsewhere--and eloquently.

I know I asked for an extra year here. I even fought for it. As it turns out, my functional at the AF Personnel Center didn't back down from her position until she got an email from my three-star general himself requesting my extension and providing his rationale. But back down she did (while declaring that I simply was required to return to USAFA next to teach...like I'd let the AF send me anywhere else). I acknowledge that I may have made a poor choice (one more year apart for the shot at another promotion), but...maybe my move was smart. I'm trying to stack the cards in my favor, as much as possible (and I acknowledge that anyone can walk in at any time and shuffle the deck). But my point is: I asked for this. I have no one to blame but myself.

And so, I'm not blaming anyone for my loneliness. It isn't like that. I'm just stating it. It's a matter of fact. That's all.

In other news...oh nevermind. Maybe later.

Y'all be good.

d