the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

There's a strange phenomenon afoot regarding traditional books and e-readers. Leaving aside the usual English major snobbishness toward "popular" books of any kind (which is inevitably coupled with a crushing shame of reading and enjoying such fare), traditionalists have an annoying snottiness when it comes to the medium those books are presented through. We all know "the book is better than the movie," but it has to be said anyway, if only to smugly and not-so-subtly suggest the intellectual superiority of one's pastimes. (Oddly, the opposite phenomenon applies to plays; if you read all of Shakespeare's work, the person who saw Richard III performed live somehow "wins.")

I unapologetically enjoy audiobooks. I consider this equivalent to reading them. And why not? I'm wallowing in the world of words and ideas. I'm living in a dual universe, that of the written and the performed. I quit counting--or even paying attention to--those who consider such activity "cheating," though. No one has yet been able to explain to me how one can "cheat" read a book. You should have to sit still while you read? You must use your eyes? You have to work for it, or it doesn't count? (Doesn't count for what, though?)

The literary argument du jour, though, is even sillier: e-readers can never replace my PAPER books!

I hear many arguments to this effect (and I got them almost daily when I was working on my master's in English literature last year, because whenever possible, I used my Kindle). It would begin with them dropping a book on a desk with a thud, then eyeing (with fascination and a hint of envy) my slender, inobtrusive, aerodynamic Kindle. "Is that one of those e-books?" they'd say.

ME (ever a stickler for precision): It's a Kindle.

THEM: I've heard of those.

ME (turning it on and handing it to them): Here. Check it out.

THEM (touching it like they might break it): Wow. It's so light.

ME: Turn some pages.

THEM: It's so easy to read!

ME: Mmhm.

THEM (handing it back): That's cool. I could never give up my books, though.

Here we go again. :roll:

THEM: I love the feel of books. I love the smell. I want to be able to write in my books. I need to be able to read them anywhere. I have to be able to dog-ear the pages. Books are old friends blah blah blah blah blah

So you're a carnal book lover. I get that.

Perhaps they're just making conversation, but it comes across as defensiveness, and I haven't worked out what they're defending. Books? Books aren't threatened. Books just are. Television didn't make radio obsolete and bicycles didn't do away with walking. And how long have we had typewriters, but we still insist on picking up a pen now and again*?

...although I recently read that cursive writing is being fazed out, probably because it phases people.

I can't get past the notion that I'm being looked down upon for using a Kindle, that I've left the straight and narrow and have chosen to the way that leadeth unto destruction. I'm being viewed as an imposter of sorts, a lesser being. There's invariably a hint of "Oh yeah? My love can beat up your love!"

I got this from Boulderites (Boulderenes? Bouldis?) regularly. Boulder is glutted with "crunchy" people. That is, they're health nuts and obsessed with the environment. These very people were effectively arguing that we need to keep destroying trees so they can enjoy their dead, processed smell. It's strange how the most liberal of people can be so mind-numbingly conservative when it comes to their own interests and pointless convictions.

Library books (socialism has its perks, you have to admit) are more environmentally friendly than are personal copies, but it's generally accepted that you should be a courtly lover of public books. Thou shalt not bend, fold, or spindle them. Thou shalt not write in them. If you want to write in it or dog-ear it or collect and dry flower pedals in it, you need to buy your own copy. Oh and...thou shalt return it in three weeks.

Some books (and many I enjoy, as a matter of fact) aren't readable in three weeks. Some literally need months or years. You visit the book like a friend. Here, you can either buy the paperback or acquire an e-copy. I say "acquire" because I rarely have to buy the e-copy. This depends on the books you're interested in, of course. My literary interests gravitate toward older, public domain literature, which is had for free in electronic format. I use an outstanding open-source program to convert almost any format to a Kindle-friendly one, in which I can underline passages, make notes for myself, and even dog-ear the pages.

The "I want something I can read in the bathtub" argument--which pops up with surprising regularity--baffles me, too. If you're the sort of person who would take a paper "old friend" into the bathtub with you without fear that you will destroy it, why would you be any more nervous about taking an electronic one? But if this irrational fear (based on perceived cost?) is still a problem, put your Kindle in a freezer Ziploc bag. (Just try doing that with your paper "old friend.")

And yeah, you have to cut if off when your plane is taking off or landing. That means you have a few minutes here and there in which you have to rest your eyes. I find this annoying. I'm also irritated when people near me are engaged in a loud, inane* conversation, but this doesn't mean I'll stop reading books until they create one with a noise buffer. The "you can't read while the plane is landing" bit is like arguing that you don't want to wear a seat belt just in case you're in a car accident where you'll only survive if you're thrown free. It's an argument that exposes your desperation. It is drawn from your emotional commitment to something indefensible and is built on the rickety structure of bad math.

* The loudness and inanity of any given conversation has roughly a 1:1 ratio.

Here's something cool about the Kindle:* I can read in any position--comfortably. I have back problems and have difficulty sitting in one place for long. When I'm into a book, I need to be able to flop about. I'll lie on my side for a while, then on my belly, then my back, etc. (Occasionally, I'll even sit like a civilized person.) Traditional books don't "flop" well with me.

* And probably other e-readers. I simply haven't tried the others. I'm not a "shopper," as I've mentioned. The Kindle gave me what I wanted at a price I was willing to pay, so I bought one (then another), so it's the only one I can speak about from experience. They all have their pros and cons.

The next perk may sound silly, but people who have tried a Kindle--or a comparable e-reader--will find themselves nodding vigorously to this one: it takes considerably less effort to hold in place for long periods of time. I know this makes me sound like a weenie, but holding a book open can be exhausting. And holding it up at a good reading angle only makes it worse. With my Kindle, I can easily hold the book at eye level. My arms and hands don't get worn out before my eyes and mind do.

I occasionally take walks with my Kindle, too. Like I said, I don't like sitting still for long periods, so I've found it wonderfully relaxing to go for long strolls in the sunshine while reading. (I read about 300 pages one day this way. I think I walked 10 miles.)

If the print is too small to see in such cases, I just increase the font size ;). I've found this helpful on public transportation, where I either can't focus on small print or I get motion sick trying. Increasing the font size solves this problem almost entirely. (Also, for older people, EVERY BOOK IS A LARGE PRINT EDITION. Cool, huh?)

At the same time, I accept the drawbacks. For one, visitors can no longer nonchalantly review the books on my shelf to learn something about me. I like doing this, I like when other people do it, and I don't want to see this practice end. On the bright side, I don't think I will; like I said, don't think e-readers are a threat to "real" books. I know I have an entire library of my own that I have no plans of getting rid of.

Not all books are available in electronic format. Take this one, for example: Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking. (Read the reviews then tell me you aren't utterly entranced.) And not all books will be available electronically in the foreseeable future. Sometimes, the publishers intend a limited edition. In other cases, they fear piracy too much. Etc.

I miss writing in my books. I was a late convert to this practice, which means it's now a deeply religious experience for me. The Kindle allows me to type in notes, but I like writing in the margins. I like writing, to be more specific. This is an element of my interaction with a paper book that is missing with my Kindles. Typing isn't the same as writing. The day they come out with a Kindle with a stylus is the day I die a happy woman.

Why not an iPad? Maybe some day, depending on what I want to use it for. I'm rather attracted to the fact that the Kindle doesn't offer distraction. It's light and easy to carry, and can easily fit in my bag, jacket, or cargo pocket. The battery lasts forever, pretty much. It isn't backlit, so it's no harder on my eyes than reading a regular book. iPads are very cool, but they don't suit me at the moment.

I ask only for this: a little more level-headedness in this discussion. I'm tired of the usual stupidity. Let's have some fresh stupidity. Please?

d