the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

faGEDaboudit

I's been busy. That's all. And unlike the other times I've said this because it was insensitive to admit that I simple didn't care enough to post, I mean it this time.

No really.

Last week, I finished Air Command and Staff College. I've mentioned this before, but I'll refresh a bit. It's the obligatory Professional Military Education requirement for major selects and majors. That is, if you want a prayer of being promoted again, you must complete this course. So I did. In residence--that is, when you go to Maxwell and do it full time in uniform in a proper classroom instead of sipping wine and stroking the cat on your lap like I did--it's a 10-month course. The Powers That Be allow 18 months for the correspondence course. I did 6/7ths of the course (the last bit) in about 3.5 weeks.

Their rules are that they try to keep you in classroom materials by sending you the volume after the one you're working on at the moment. I think they do it bulk rate, though. After I finished volume 3 (which was the last one I had after I completed volume 1 back in October), I outran the system. A couple of days after I'd taken my last test and graduated, I got the last two volumes in the mail. There they are, still shrink-wrapped.

So yeah. I've been busy. Get off my back.

Thank you.

Then there's this whole "I'm going to Turkey" thing. I have to do some stuff so they'll put me on the plane. I had to go requalify with the M9 on Tuesday, then reaccomplished my Self Aid and Buddy Care stuff on Wednesday. Then I saw an acupuncturist.

Oddly, I have slipped through the whole "weapons" crack for years. In theory, I should requalify with the M9 every 36 months. That didn't happen. The last time I qualified, I was a second lieutenant. That was 8 years ago.

Anyway. I did pretty well. I again fell short of expert by a few rounds (three), but overall, I outshot everyone on the range. I don't fire much. I just have a knack for it.

Then I got my recertification in Self Aid and Buddy Care, or SABC. This is interesting to me, because the training keeps changing. There's such a stark contrast between what they teach you in peacetime and what they teach you during war. In peacetime, they wade through hours of stuff the doctor or medic will take care of. In war, when they know you are really going to be out there needing to use this stuff, they assume the same method martial artists who are seriously training to save their own lives use. To wit: they teach you just a handful of techniques. They're simple. They're straightforward. They don't overwhelm you with bunches of stuff you won't have time for under fire. The techniques they teach in SABC now are down and dirty.

Example: Let's say you're in a convoy and your vehicle hits an IED (improvised explosive device). You can walk and talk after the explosion, so you check out your teammates. One has bright red blood spurting from a wound on his thigh. What do you do?

In a noncombat situation, you'd go apply pressure, elevate the limb, then apply pressure to one of the five main pressure points (in this case, the femoral artery). In a combat situation? You first ensure the zone is safe; return fire if necessary. Then go drag your buddy behind cover if possible, and slap on a tourniquet. Seriously...you don't mess with it.

Having taught martial arts for a while, I have a deep appreciation of the power of simplicity under stress. Complex moves are beautiful in self defense, but almost completely worthless. Why? Because when you get stressed, your adrenaline shoots through the roof, interfering with your small motor control, and your blood abandons your extremities (including your brain) to fuel large muscle groups so you can fight or fly  better. Teaching anyone complex self defense techniques is just show. The simpler the techique, the more useful it is in a real situation.

The same applies to SABC. You freak as much in this situation as you would if someone attacked you in a bar--maybe even more. We as a species have an easier time dealing with our own danger than watching another person possibly dying. You're just as likely, if not more so, to forget everything you've learned about SABC in this situation, so the simpler the technique, the better.

The whole "sucking chest wound" training isn't disembodied anymore, either. What do you do first when you think a person has a sucking chest wound? Past training says you find something plastic to put over it and tape down to recreate the lost suction so you can keep the lung from collapsing. Use your ID card, if necessary.

No more. What you do first is to make sure the zone is safe (right?), then you go check for the exit wound. Riiiiiiight. Why? Too many people have been given first aid for a sucking chest wound (they are pretty glamorous) then bled to death because exit wounds are a bitch. Some of them can rip off half of your back. We're talking ugly.

So yeah...fix that, then go plug the hole. (But try to avoid using an ID card/driver's license, as the plastic is too stiff and doesn't create a good seal. Use an empty MRE packet or something. Saran Wrap...not that you'll have that in your cargo pocket, but still.)

We talked about what to do if we come upon someone who's been disemboweled, too.

What a fun class.

So last weekend I took a few days of leave and we drove to San Marcos, Texas. This is where one of my high school friends (and I don't have many that I truly count) lives. Kathryn hosted a few of us at Rancho Relaxo, their awesome pad. Cheryl and Celia showed up for the evening, and there was much rejoicing. Kat's hubby Joe Don took the kids to a hotel for the evening so we could have a "girl's night in." Is that love, or what?

Then we drove back home. Good thing we like road trips. :)

And so...I'm now almost finished with my last paper ever.

I mean it this time.

Really.

d