the id, the ego, & the single misfiring brain cell

if you want to spoof someone's number, do it on saturday morning when no one can will do anything about it until monday....

I awoke this morning to a ringing telephone. I don't answer the telephone, as a matter of course. I don't like the things, and I never have. They make conversation difficult and sometimes impossible for me (see my earlier post on listening problems, which will give you some idea of what it's like to have CAPD). The ringer was set to four rings. So the phone rang about five times in as many minutes, and I finally answered. I was not polite the first time, as I erroneously assumed that the same person was calling over and over to make me answer. I said, "What?!"

A confused sounding man identified himself and said, "I just got a call from this number and I'm sorry I missed the call."

Now it was my turn to be confused. I said, "I'm sorry, but I haven't made any calls."

Now we were both confused. I apologized for my abruptness, explained that I just woke up, didn't know what was going on, and I wished him a pleasant day.

No sooner had a hung up but the phone rang again. It was another polite stranger, asking if this was "Diana," and wondering why I was calling.

Hmmmm.

So I called the Qwest Level 3 help desk. The first lady I spoke with said she could offer to change my number. I asked if anything else could be done, because I rather like my number. For some reason which defies, well, reason, she said I should unplug all the cordless phones in the house and wait for her call on my one corded phone; otherwise, don't use the phone. I have no idea what the "unplug everything" bit was about unless she thought someone might be tapping into my signal here at the house (laughable, considering where I live), but I pointed out that I'll be answering calls all morning, since I can't tell which call will be hers.* Duh.

* We just discontinued the Caller ID last week, as we only used it to know who we were ignoring - a waste of $9/mo. Our real Caller ID has always been the answering machine, anyway.

Within the next ten minutes, I refined my explanation for the various polite but confused souls I spoke with: "My name and number have been hijacked. I have not made any calls, and I've reported this problem to my phone company. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Have a nice day."

Then I called Qwest back. I got someone with a rich accent whom I could barely understand. She suggested I call FCC's spoofing department, and she gave me the number - the wrong number, as it turned out. So I looked up the FCC on the internet, and called, only to discover that they don't have anyone in on the weekends. Nice.

Somewhere through there, a rather incensed woman called to tell me she was reporting me to the Better Business Bureau. I quickly explained that my number has been spoofed, and asked if she had any information on who had used my name and number to call her. She said it was a woman calling for a roofing company from Georgia, San Miguel, or something like that. Basically, someone is using my number to run a roofing scam. The lady suggested I call the FCC, my phone company, and the cops. I thanked her for the information and apologized for the inconvenience to her. She wished me good luck.

I thought about the cops thing, but what can they do? The person doing the spoofing could be in Bangkok, for all I know.

Then I called Qwest yet again. By this point, I impatiently punched in my "ten-digit account number" then hit "0" to skip straight to a representative - another representative who I could barely understand, as it turned out. Another Indian. Sigh.

I don't blame Indians for taking these jobs; I would too, if I were them. However, I have such a hard time understanding them that my frustration levels steadily rise when I have a problem which defies a quick fix, which is all the Level 3 Help Desk - for which more and more corporations outsource our labor to India - is there for. I am not an idiot when it comes to computers, but unless I lose my cool completely, I have to deal with all of their necessary troubleshooting steps (even when I've already done all of them) before they will elevate my call to the Level 2 Help Desk.

It stresses me more than enough to sit in a restaurant with more than two or three people who speak English in an accent I can decipher, as I am so inundated with sound that I can't understand anything. But put me on the telephone, where I cannot read body language or watch lips moving, with a person who speaks English with a strong Indian accent, and I'm lost. I don't want to be rude and say, "Can I speak with someone who speaks English?" because they do. I just cannot understand them. (Then they tell me to do stupid stuff like unplug all the phones in my house....)

This person politely told me that he could not do anything, as the business office was closed until Monday. I said, "Let me get this straight. Someone is using my name and number to sell a roofing scam and I'm getting loads of calls from strangers and there's nothing you can do until Monday?"

He launched into a long explanation which amounted to "That's right." I hung up.

I unplugged the only phone I was using, and stormed outside to cool off and think.

When I came back in, I plugged in the phone with the answering machine, set the ringer to three rings (and silent), and put a new message on the machine, to this effect: "Hello, you've reached 719-596-9200. If you're returning a call from this number this morning, please be advised that I made no such call. Apparently, my name and number are being spoofed in order to run a roofing scam. I have reported this to the FCC and to my phone company. I apologize for the inconvenience. Have a nice day."

Then I called Qwest again, prepared to speak with a supervisor, if necessary. The young lady I spoke with, thankfully, transferred me to an American who is the floor supervisor for the business department. She took the work order to change my number as soon as possible. As my number includes high speed internet, that will be...Wednesday.

Until then, I've done all I know to do. I won't answer the phone, but if anyone who knows me calls, they are still free to leave a message. On Wednesday,* I'll have a new number.

* B'cause the internet changes take longer than a simple phone number change.

Then I filed a complaint with the FCC about the spoofing, but also Qwest's "inability" to do anything to resolve it until sometime next week.

So here's a question: Who goes and checks the missed calls and calls those numbers when the caller in question has not left a message? (Which the alternate "me" certainly did not do.) If I tried to do that, I wouldn't have time to sleep.

d