Welcome to Balad

Ouch. The humans are there… some just recoul from the touch of another human hand. Keep reaching.

Thanks, James. Eloquently put.

d

From me at least, my support. Living the the “true south” for decades has radicalized me, true; however, all I can offer is to say keep your eyes on reality and stay aware. That way you have a better chance to come home. If you give in to your depression, your vigilance will drop and you become more prey-like. We need you alive and kicking, as much as you and yours need you.

D,

I assume that my post was one of the two unsolicited responses that was hurtful. For this I am truly sorry. I have never been deployed anywhere, let alone a dustbowl hole that you are having to endure, and so my remarks about what I think about the Democratic Party were completely out of line. We who are reading your blog are grateful that you take the time to keep us posted on your day to day, and your insight gives us only a glimpse of what it must be like to be there. I appreciate your candor and your willingness to let us know what has offended you. I am never too big, or too right, to admit when I am wrong. In your attempt to reach out in your depression we stepped on your hand. My sincere apologies.

dave

Wow, deja vu all over again. I learned (almost too late) that when my wife talked about things that were bothering her it was just her way of dealing with them, not a request for me to fix them (or re-educate her). My life got a lot easier when I realized she just wanted me to listen.

Unfortunately the Web is full of opinions begging to be challenged. It’s easy to mistake your remarks as more of the same. That still doesn’t make it right.

On behalf of those of us who don’t always listen, I’m sorry. There are better times and places to debate religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.

Dave

D,
Even though I never respond to your blogs, I would like you to know that I do read every one of them. Not only me, I have alot of family and friends who do time to time. I had to respond to this one though for it seems to me you are definately hurting. Dont give into that depression thing that most of the people who separate from civilization do. Stay strong, I dont think I could ever deal with you having any emotional feelings remotely close to humans. That is why I like you and respect you. Your strength, your drive, your knowledge, (of everything I must add), and your abilty to give (and take). Your knowledge of things and your ability to put that into words makes people (who can do the same, not me), want to debate with you over these issues because they only grow by doing so. I think that as soon as they read an entry from you, they feel obligated to respond in that manner so that you can continually be intellectually stimulated while you are stuck in the cat box, not to hurt you or down your beliefs. I may be completely wrong, but i doubt it. They may feel that debateing over these issues with you can keep your mind off the depression that you may experience, or the loneliness that will definately set in over there. But you are right, there is a time and place for those discussions and as much as I love reading them the place is not here. Stay strong and we will see you soon.
Caison

I’m crossing my fingers that I wasn’t one of the respondents percieved as not caring how you feel (not that we need a strong accounting–keep us on our toes, babe!).

Just in case I was unclear…I was trying to agree with you–the election results blow.

OK, enough about me :)

You know how it is, religion, politics, and I’m sure one or two other topics are always going to be upsetting. Things not to be brought up in civilized conversation, or some hoey like that. I’m saddend that your intent was missed by most, and that you found no comfort with your expression. I reviewed my post and realized I didn’t express my comradery so well.

My heart goes out to you. All the time, as if I thought you doubted.

I’m hoping that in the long-run, the election results don’t affect anyone negatively. I mean, “stay the course” better not mean “extend your tour.” I recognize the little victories that can’t be won will disappoint for the next four years, but they and the rest can be resolved a few years from now, with yet another disappointing (to someone, I’m sure) election.

Buck up, Lt! I’m still planning to drow all of your sorrows in the right kind of sunshine and tropical drinks!

Diana, I hope you will continue to write–and write–and write! I love reading your blogs, and worry about you when you don’t write for several days in a row! (That’s my priviledge, as your aunt and having “adopted” you, you know!)

I’m sorry that some took YOUR blog to try to get THEIR OWN points across and convince you that you are wrong. I read the entire thing, replies and all, and wondered how some of them had the nerve to write what they did. I guess they just wanted to have their say and try to sway you to their “side” of the road! You know how I feel about most of those things, and you know that it makes no difference in how I feel about you. That, to me, is the most important thing I need to convey with any reply I make to your entries!

Remember that you are loved, dearly, and many of us in the family are looking forward to having you home again!

My Dear Daughter,
For many years, I have found it very difficult to ‘read’ you. I continue to love you, as does your mother, very deeply. Somehow, I did misread what you were doing, partly because of inattention, and partly because I felt rebuffed and –just possibly– a little bit –attacked. I know you did not do this purposely, even as I did not ignore your pain and depression completely. As you know, i have been being treated for depression for many years, and I know as well that you too continue to fight it. For my part, knowing that I am the primary one who hurt you, I hurt even more with you being away, where I cannot , somehow, perhaps, help you overcome the lonliness and depression. If you can find it in your heart, please forgive my unintentional blunders across the tenderness of your heart. I love you. Daddy

To all who read my blogs and particularly those who care enough to respond (even when I don’t particularly like the way you choose to respond), thank you for reading and for your words of support. Despite my best efforts, I can’t quite express how it feels to be here, day in and day out. It’s the movie Groundhog Day, but in earth tones with mortar fire.

A word about me: I don’t know how to express being hurt without leveling a guilt trip. Maybe it’s impossible to do that. I don’t know.

In fairness to all who respond to my blogs, I am known far and wide as a person who enjoys intellectual engagement. For this reason alone, I understand why you might not think twice about engaging me on anything, anywhere. Those who live by the sword die by the sword. (I read that somewhere.)

Specifically:

Jeff, I know you were offering your support. Thank you. Anger with no energy sometimes benefits from a vicarious vent.

Hinermad, does (your post) mean I’m like your typical, average woman? What a frightening thought. The next thing you know, I’ll be window-shopping, buying hordes of shoes, and being worried if my butt looks fat. I wonder if there’s something I can take for that condition.

Caison, thanks for the vote of confidence. Superhuman personas can be rather difficult to maintain in some situations, is all. I’ll be back to the sarcastic, emotionless bitch you all know and put up with soon enough. Don’t worry.

Aunt B’Ann, thank you. I was wondering if anyone else read those the same way. Yes…I know how most if not all of my family (immediate and extended) as well as most of my coworkers (here and there) feel about religion and politics, and I respect those who can just love me even though I am, you know, hellbound and dead wrong about just about everything.

Daddy, post follows.

d

I haven’t jumped in with comments ’til now because I have been appreciating and enjoying your journal as if it were leather bound and published. Your words are so rich and expressive I just soak them up. Sorta like: I’ve never had the urge to tell Anais Nin how she should look at a sunset, for goodness sake!

But, fwiw, I’d like you to know I have been here and thinking of you. How you might be feeling, how those you’ve left at home might be getting along, how lucky those people you work with are to have you, your sharp wit, intelligence and unflagging work ethic and stamina. But, it’s not just the people with whom you are deployed who benefit from your actions there. It’s all of us reading your words here.

take care and thank you,

pesci >

p.s. I really liked how you edited out the religious comments. This blog is your kingdom – if any of us in the peanut gallery says something you don’t want on your site – off with our words!

I’m like your typical, average woman? What a frightening thought. The next thing you know, I’ll be window-shopping, buying hordes of shoes, and being worried if my butt looks fat. I wonder if there’s something I can take for that condition.

Is this really neccessary?

Thanks, pesci. :) I didn’t know you were out there. I suppose there are lots of people I don’t know are out there.

I was just thinking…the last time I felt this low was when I was working shifts and there was no end in sight. I was trapped in a miserable existence and it dragged me down. At least this time, there’s an end in sight.

Tal, huh?!

d

Whew!

LT., I can relate to the Groundhog Day comment you made. That’s how it feels over here too. On the bright side, you’ll be home soon. :)

Melissa