« Enough about meTired of it all »

9 comments

Comment from: Tal
Tal

You’re supposed to put the disclaimer at the top! Duh!

Nicely done, d.

11/11/04 @ 16:05
Comment from: Hinermad
Hinermad

About yesterday’s remarks: you, a typical, average woman? Hardly. Typical, average women don’t quote Monty Python and Robert Heinlein. And if you do start to worry about getting “broad across the beam” (as Dad would have put it) remember that you were the one who discovered Diana’s Deployment Diet.

Seriously, I wasn’t trying to imply that you’re anything except human - just like the rest of us. Sometimes we need someone to just listen; sometimes we don’t realize the person talking needs us to just listen.

As for today’s talk: in some ways I was fortunate to not have grown up with the expectation of being a believer. (I eventually became one anyway, but that’s a different story.) I do know several people who did grow up that way, and some handled it better than others. (Sounds like you’re doing well so far. At least you’re still talking to your family. It could be a lot worse.)

Expectations, real or imaginary, sure can cause a lot of pain. That’s where I got in trouble with that listening thing. Now and then I have to remind someone “don’t should on me,” but more often than not I have to remind myself that a question isn’t a complaint and a complaint isn’t an order. (Maybe it’s different in your job.) I’ve also had to learn that the same rules apply to me - it’s not fair for me to expect impossible things from others. Learning what those impossibilities are takes listening.

Dave

11/11/04 @ 18:11
Comment from: Hinermad
Hinermad

P.S. Happy (?) Veterans’ Day.

Dave

11/11/04 @ 18:13
Comment from: Jeff Warren
Jeff Warren

Wow. That takes balls. To open it up like that for the world, that is. I hope Pa Black sees the message, and not an attack.

Knowing you for going on, damn, 17 years, like I do, I’ve always known this about you. It’s one of your charms, believe it or not. This solid belief you’ve got in you, and not in the ethereal. I’ve never felt affronted by your position on religion, and I don’t think it’s because we’re similary sagacious.

Although, I’m gonna have to start wondering how compatible we are now that I know you’re an all out “nope, don’t believe it” gal. I’m still a “I have a hard time believing all of this happend purely by science, but I don’t put a bit of credence into church religions.” Of course, insert synagogue, mosque, or magic tree as appropriate.

Ok, I’m done wondering. I find we’re still as compatible as ever.

Hey, don’t let that dust bowl get you down. I know, not from the same experience, of course, but from other experiences of isolation in a crowd, that sometimes when a person has too much time to think they think too much. Sometimes those thoughts start warping and wrapping in funny ways, and they have a way of getting away from you and turning on you.

And, as a lame attempt to distract you from those trains of thoughts, what about that rant of Al Udeid, and why they want you back. Heck, we want you back, but that sounds more interesting…

11/11/04 @ 21:12
Comment from: Pa
Pa

Dear One, some of this is news to me, and some of it is ‘old hat’, but it all still hurts. I think you read a tremendous amount, growing up, into what was said and the way it was said. For instance, ‘democrat’ may have come across as anger, but it was far more likely to be disbelief, frustration, and simple exasperation. I could have helped you understand, way back then, if I had had an inkling of your misunderstanding. I didn’t. I expected you to grow up as a Christian, because you seemed to believe what you were taught, even to the point of taking your bible to school with you to dispute with your classmates. As usual, I misunderstood. Add to this the fact that I was not around a lot of the time when I should have been. I was a workaholic back then, and was rarely at home for you and the others. I have spent many many hours in self-flagelation and self-deprecation on this account, believe me. Do I, or your Mother, or Grandmother, or Noel, or others in the family love you any less than we ever have? Absolutely not, at least not to my knowledge or observation. I still see, in the things you write, the carefree spirit of many years ago. I also see that you have created quite a shell around yourself. This tells me, as much as anything, that though you want to claim comfort within yourself, you are still uncomfortable with some part of yourself. I hope you find that, and resolve it, without unkindness to others, as I saw in your previous post. You were hurt, and someone else had to be hurt back. That simply shows, to me at least, that you are unhappy with something that you have yet to come to grips with. And I don’t think it’s a difference of opinion of whether or not there is a God. I think it is something deep inside the beautiful, smart, and talented daughter of our youth.

11/12/04 @ 04:02
Comment from:

The only thing I haven’t come to grips with yet is my own family, but tell yourself whatever you need to, just as you have before and apparently continue to. I had to try.

The interesting thing is that I can express pain and tell you why, and I’m still “striking out.” Amazing.

Sometimes I wonder why I try.

d

11/12/04 @ 06:51
Comment from: Roger D.
Roger D.

Keep trying. Both of you. That’s called a “relationship". And one that is much better than most. The thing I miss most about my parents is our differences of opinion. The thing that pisses me off is that they are dead. They know who was right.

11/12/04 @ 12:42
Comment from: Warren
Warren

Hey d! At least you and your family remain engaged in a dialogue, when too many are not, separated by much more mundane differences than one so fundamental. I applaud both you and your family for remaining just that, family.

~~~~~~

BTW, thank you for your service.

11/14/04 @ 05:25
Comment from: Delores Black
Delores Black

I love you both…please, keep trying.

11/24/04 @ 01:36