Where "Integrity First" gets displaced by "a thread of truth."
In OTS, we were constantly reminded to know and live the Air Force core values. To wit: Integrity first. Service before self. Excellence in all we do.
Toward the end of OTS, however, we had a short class on writing performance reports, awards and decorations. At this point, we were impressed with the necessity of "ensuring there's at least a thread of truth in what you write." Being the incorrigible bigmouth I am, I said, "But what happened to Integrity First?" In answer, I was told repeatedly, "Ensure there's at least a thread of truth in what you write," and to make it clearer what they were attempting to convey, they put emphasis on different words each time they repeated the phrase.
What they meant but couldn't bring themselves to say was, "We all know this is in conflict with Core Value Number One. However, this is part of the game and you won't change the Air Force from the bottom up."
I've encountered people who seem to believe that reducing a statement to a thread of truth in order to play up one's accomplishments is still somehow "honest." Perhaps to them it is. To me, however, deliberately misleading another person, even if the actual statement you make is true (if you look at it with just the right light refraction on the third day of the month when the moon is in its second quarter) is still a lie.
I struggled with this then and I struggle with it still. I thought I'd be more desensitized to this basic dishonesty by now, but alas, I'm doomed to suffer. This becomes almost unbearable when I see the bullets people are writing up to put me in for an award, because I know precisely what I did and didn't do, and the inflation is appalling.
Here in Balad, we do monthly awards instead of quarterly awards, like in the stateside Air Force. The reasons are that we typically do three months' worth of work in one month here, anyway, and that we come and go every 120 days (it just went up from 90), so the quarterly system doesn't work so well here. My commander notified my boss Saturday night that he wanted him to put me in for CGO* of the Month.
* Company Grade Officer. Pay grades O-1 through O-3. Second Lieutenant, First Lieutenant, and Captain, respectively.
Oh no. Here we go again.
I'm not a fan of these awards. For me, it's enough that my commander wants to put me in. That's all the recognition I require or want.
These awards were originally intended as a form of recognition for outstanding achievers, but quickly morphed into a silly political game and have not evolved since. When I was at Vandenberg AFB a couple of years ago, the commander actually told my boss that I would be put in for CGO of the Quarter before the quarter even began, so my boss should make sure I have good material for bullets.* (Let me know if you can't see how this misses the point of recognizing the self-motivated.)
* Bullet statements, generally beginning with a strong verb and in the "what you did, how you did it and the impact of your actions" format, all on one line and massaged until there's no white space at the end. You accomplish this by using what is commonly known as "fluff," then you write it so as to make it appear that it was a struggle to fit all your accomplishments in the allotted space. It's an art form.
The last CGO award I was put in for worked like that. I was notified before the quarter that I'd be the nominee. I worked long hours (I was doing that anyway, but it got worse as I worked to provide more bullet fodder). I then had the honor and privilege of going before a board, reporting formally, and trying not to sound like an idiot while I answered questions about my organizational structure, our mission* and what I thought of current events. News flash for anyone of rank who may be reading this: having a troop put on his Class A's, study his butt off and sweat before a board is not a reward. It is, in fact, my version of hell.
* Regurgitating organizational structure and mission can be a challenge even in a traditional wing, unless you have a personal fascination with such things, but these things remain a mystery to me in the Standard Systems Group, where the structure is based more on a cobweb than a tree, and the mission seems to have something to do with entering your hours in a cryptic and glitchy automated system.
To compound matters, although I'm well-read and heaven knows I'm opinionated, I'm not articulate. That's why I write--to express myself accurately. So meeting a board is not--how you say--pleasant for me. It is not a reward, an honor, or a privilege. It is a pain in my nether parts and I came out of the ordeal feeling punished.
Back to the award tango, though. Jeff dutifully submitted some bullets for me. If they make sense to you at all, they sound fairly impressive. Just look at all I did!
Well, not exactly. It's all part of the game, you see. Here is the package, with explanation. Each statement he submitted is bolded. My explanation of what I actually did follows.
- Provided phone and network plans engineering for 3,000+ users at CENTAF's fastest-growing AOR base
I was a part of the comm squadron in the plans section.
- Prevented loss of communications to North HAS Area--located damaged conduit and assured long-term fix
Jeff and I went for a walk one evening where they were excavating some of our conduit. We noticed several spots where the backhoe had crushed it. I don't think there was fiber or cable in it yet. We later mentioned the problem to the engineering and installation guys, but got caught up in other things and never checked to see what--if anything--they did.
- Interfaced regularly with joint comm planners to develop roadmap for 22,000 users at LSA Anaconda
We talk to Army people from time to time.
- Designed new circuit path for JWICS system--provided C2 for 332 AEW Intelligence and joint special ops
I went into a building with a tape measure and figured out how long a new fiber needed to be.
- Recognized flaws in outside cable layout and redesigned to better support new $6M tech control facility
I asked, "Why don't we put the manhole here instead of there?" And they said, "Hmph. I guess that makes sense."
- Spearheaded effort to bring Theater Battle Management Core Systems to 50+ users at Balad AB
-- Coordinated efforts of A6 and stateside contractors--forged a two-phased approach to provide C2 system
BIG GUY AT TOP OF FOOD CHAIN: Everybody in theater will have this system.
MY COMMANDER: Lt Black will submit the requirement.
ME: Wha...?
- Designed temporary and permanent DSN/network solutions for 332 EMXS North Munitions Storage Area
-- Resolved immediate needs while preparing facilities for long-term growth and secure communications
Jeff said, "They need a phone out there. The nearest copper to give them a connection is that HAS*. Figure out where the cable needs to go and how much they need so we can run some field wire."
* Hardened Aircraft Shelter. Big honking cement bunker-looking things where Saddam kept his planes safe from US bombs. Sometimes.
- Proactively ensured safety of entire flight--procured materials and supervised hardening of 2 new facilities
I was motivated by self-preservation to not move into unprotected trailers with people lobbing rockets at us. Sandbag detail.
- Overcame austere conditions, material shortages, and high ops tempo to coordinate flawless change of command for outgoing 332 ECS commander--hosted ceremony for 100+ troops and 8 CENTAF DVs
I put on one helluva Change of Command ceremony. Note that Jeff gave me two bullets for it, just because.
Jeff CC'd me these bullets Saturday night when he emailed them to our commander. I couldn't bear to look--until this morning, when I wandered into the conference room accidentally* where our Shirt and commander were poring over my package. They asked me to have a seat and help out, since I was there. Apparently I was selected as the squadron CGO of the Month and they were buffing up my package before they send it to Group.
* I was on an unrelated errand. I don't just meander around aimlessly. Much.
You heard me right. They were buffing up my package further. This is normal procedure. The truth was not stretched quite thin enough. I mean...uh...the bullets needed to be stronger.
So we began buffing. All else being equal, it's much easier for me to "buff up" a package when I don't know the facts. Since it was me they were presumably bragging about, and I had to sit there and see if I could "help," every bullet was excruciating.
They worked through the first six without much input from me. Those may sound better than the rest, but they also have the thinnest thread of truth.
Lt Col Capalungan thought it best to remove my Change of Command bullets, just in case the package made it to Wing* (and we all know how the Wing CC felt about my Change of Command ceremony). Then they had other things to do and told me to buff up the rest of them. Ugh.
* I'm quite certain I won't beat out the guys who run convoys, take live fire and risk getting blown to charred bits every day. Or, if they aren't competing, I'm up against F-16 pilots who risk their skins daily to put bombs on target. Because I already know I'm beaten before I begin, I was thinking the best gesture Lt Col Capalungan could make to reward me would be to leave the Change of Command bullets intact, knowing full well the Wing Commander will see it. I can think of no finer way for him to show his approval and support of me. But alas...he seems to think I have a chance of winning. Politics.
Here was the final product that I forwarded to the Shirt and Superintendent.
- Engineered phone/network for 2,000+ Balad/Anaconda troops--Joint connectivity coordinates air/ground ops
Polished version of earlier opening fluff.
- Identified crushed conduit--comm fix action ensured Special Ops, Intel, OSI, Predator remained in the fight
Our empty crushed conduit apparently sprouted fiber.
- Aggressively interfaced with coalition forces--developed roadmap for projected growth to 25,000 personnel
I'd forgotten I've actually had a couple of conversations with Australians.
- Designed/implemented critical intel connection--info accurately applies combat forces where/when required
Harder hitting measuring tape bullet. The impact is actually true. It was my contribution that is "stretched."
- Corrected $6M cable oversight--decisive action will ensure direct world wide STRAT ramp connectivity
The place I thought the manhole should go happens to be in a convenient location to service the STRAT ramp that is currently under construction and may actually need fiber through a conduit that doesn't exist yet someday in the distant future maybe.
- Improvised urgent Munitions Storage Area (MSA) phone solution--ensured safety/faster ops of isolated troops
A fancier way of saying I hiked a bit with a measuring wheel.
- Surveyed future MSA site and planned inclusive phone/network connectivity--ensured munition safety/security
I've talked with the Captain who is expecting their new offices to be delivered any day now, at which time I'll go do a walkthrough and type up a technical solution to provide them with their communications needs. (Unwritten and usually unspoken rule of bullet writing: An action assigned is an action performed.)
- Seamlessly liaised between area CCs and HQ CENTAF--facilitated acquisition of high vis comm requirements
I scrambled to figure out how to use or circumvent the cryptic, fuzzy processes for acquiring communications equipment in theater.
- Led requirements efforts for Theater Battle Management Core System--will reduce combat and emergency
response times--forged two-phased approach for initial capability and follow-on robust system deployment
I reacted to an 11th hour notification that the company that produces the system I'm scraping together requirements for has a deployable package (as opposed to the standard package) that has already been paid for and is waiting for us to ask for it so they can deliver it. I changed my original all-inclusive requirement from 50 clients to 7 so we can get it in key positions now, then upgrade later. This bullet was actually very close to the truth, which means we could have made it much, much stronger, since there was so much truth to spare.
- Pinpointed safety oversight--proactively acquired materials/supervised hardening of 2 facilities--saved bacon
The Shirt and Superintendent got a mighty chuckle out of my impact statement, then removed it. Too bad. I would have liked for it to go to Group like that. If you can't win, can't you at least have fun?
- Volunteered for Patriot Detail--upheld proud military tradition--paid last respects to honor America's fallen
Sadly, we get this opportunity all too often here. The Patriot Detail is the new name for Human Remains Detail. I guess that was too depressing and real, so they changed it to something...uplifting. A flight of volunteers marches out onto the runway and renders one last slow salute as they play Taps and load the flag-draped coffins on the C-130 for their final trip home.
So now when you hear someone has won "[something] of the Quarter" (or Something of the Month, as the case may be) in the Air Force, you'll know what that really means.
Not much at all.
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