Welcome to Balad

...and where I got the idea.

When I learned I was coming out here, I immediately began Googling to learn all I could about Balad, aka LSA Anaconda (Logistics Support Area, I think). I like to know what I'm getting into so I can pack properly and prepare as much as possible, both mentally and physically. Although the location and its operations aren't classified, I found a dearth of information on the web, outside of the standard CNN pages.

Then I stumbled across a page written by an Air Force major who'd been sent to Iraq to rebuild runways. It wasn't even a proper blog, per se. It was just a page where he'd chat about what he'd done that day, what his life was like, what the weather and terrain and people were like, and how he spent a typical day. Throughout, he'd answer emails from friends and family and include pictures. Even though the page was about his adventures and for the benefit of his loved ones, it gave me a better flavor for this place than any other site I found.

At the same time, I was quickly amassing requests from family and friends that I write them regularly once I got here so they'd know I was okay. I figured a worldwide accessible blog about my adventures would give me one site to update where they could all check in periodically to make sure I was still posting and thus intact and not yet completely insane. But also, I wanted to give those who are coming here and looking for information about all the little stuff* an information source.

* "Little stuff" is anything you feel silly asking old hardened deployment veterans as well as questions about deployed life that are so general you don't know quite what to ask.

Since the primary targets of this page are my family and friends, most of whom are not affiliated with the military in any way, I've taken care to explain terms and procedures that those of us in "the life" take for granted. In so doing, I've more or less accidentally designed a site that serves another much-needed purpose: to give all the folks in the States a taste of what "deployment" really means. For this reason, I haven't spared you the emotional part of the experience.

Also, when the new rotations are coming in, feeling incredibly alone as I did, I want them to know what they're going through is normal and it will pass. I think everyone goes through it to some degree: not only do are most of us go through a nine or ten hour time change, but we go through culture shock feeling very alone; combined, these factors considerably reduce one's coping abilities. Mine may have been more intense than your average bear since this is my first time, but I doubt anyone is exempt. Most just won't admit it because most are men.

One of those quirks of our culture is that men who show emotions are seen as weak. You aren't likely to find any man here admitting to anyone, with the possible exception of someone at Life Skills or the chapel, that he's homesick, because to do so is to show weakness and to show weakness is to lose stature. The end result is that everyone shows up here and buries his loneliness, not only to save face but also because it appears he is the only one who feels that way, because everyone else is acting like he isn't effected, either.

I suspect their loneliness is far deeper than mine and I pity them. Yes, that's right. I pity them. It is socially acceptable for me to admit I'm lonely and if I feel like it, to cry. But they must sit there like rocks and make macho jokes--or suffer the consequences.

But I digress as usual. My blog is also my hobby while I'm here. It gives me something to think about in unoccupied moments, such as when I'm in my flak vest and kevlar waiting for the current attack to end and trying not to think about the distant possibility that the next golden BB could land next to me.

And of course, I enjoy having a forum where I can laugh at all the idiocy I see, and if I'm good enough at showing you what I see, you can join me.

d

(PS. I think I understand why there isn't much information to be had about deployed life. Most people simply aren't writers, so won't even try to share the experience in the written word. Then there's the inherent difficulty of explaining such a different world with different rules and adequately expressing its stressors to anyone who hasn't been here. Before I went into OTS, I was amazed at how little actual information about the experience was available. Once I went in, I understood completely how difficult if not impossible such a project would be, even if I had the time when I was in the middle of it which I didn't. Once I was commissioned, I didn't want to think about what I'd endured. By the time I was willing to think about it, I'd blocked too much of the day-to-day hassles to give a fair picture anymore. I think a similar thing happens with deployments.)