my life

With strangers who are friends.

There's a man I've known online for quite some time now. Up until this weekend, I'd never met him in person, or even talked with him on the phone. I have learned over the years, however, that you can know more about a person from interacting with them on discussion boards than you might know about them if you met them in person. I've learned to trust my instincts concerning people, whether the instincts apply to online folk or IRL folk.

This man is a detective sergeant on the Biloxi police force. He and his family were at home when Katrina hit, but deserted premises early in the storm when their neighbor's new addition began to dissemble in the high winds and send 2X4s through the wall of his son's upstairs bedroom like giant spears. They got in his squad car and drove the 50 feet or so to their neighbors who have a smaller and more compact house who'd just invited them to weather the storm with them if they needed to. Luckily, they weren't in any of the paths of the storm surge.* They had only the incredibly high winds, rain, and bursts (mini tornadoes) to contend with.

* For those of youse what don't know, this is the most destructive part of a hurricane. It's the water that is sucked up vacuum-like in the low pressure center of the storm and carried onto land. In Biloxi, the surge went further than the beach itself, travelling miles inland through various tributaries and wiping entire neighborhoods off the map.

He spent several days at work after the storm, as you might imagine. I believe he made sure his family was en route to Illinois first, then went to work. One of his jobs was canvassing piles of debris and destroyed homes and marking that it had been searched and using a different color of paint to indicate to the coroners that there was one or more cadavers inside. Not lovely work if you can get it.

Anyway...I've known him online for years now, and seen again and again how gentle and articulate his responses are, whether the person he's addressing deserves such respect or not (in my opinion). I admire him a great deal. Many of us were following his postings about his family and recovery efforts in the city. About a month ago, he posted a thread to announce that his house was in reconstruction.

Soon, he had an offer from a woman who was a professional painter ("Puck") to come help paint the place when they got around to it. This woman I've also read for some time and met about a year ago. Another friend ("Jobar") who had time and skills teamed up with her and they converged on Ronin's* house in Biloxi. They spent the four days prepping the walls with five points and primer, and painting some of the rooms.

* His online moniker.

We drove down after work Friday, as we fancy ourselves fairly skilled painters ourownselves. Also because it feels good to help in some small way, even if it's only a drop in the bucket and I know it. Also because I really, really wanted to meet Ronin and knew I might not get another chance.

He was at work when we arrived, but we instantly clicked with his wife, Terresa. He has beautiful children, and so well-behaved you'd swear they were fictional. (Of course, they did spend a great deal of time upstairs with the Nineties Nanny, so maybe they were closer to "normal" once removed from the Nintendo.) We crashed out on an air mattress, then awoke and donned the grubbies the next morning.

The family is still staying elsewhere, as the house is not fully livable (for a family) yet. They came in around 7:30. He was, surprisingly enough, exactly as I imagined him. Only better.

We managed to paint two rooms that day (one with two coats, one with only one coat), thanks to Puck's instruction. I learned several tricks of the painter's trade Saturday, y'all. :) I was already decent at it, but she tweaked my skills considerably. (While I enjoy doing such things from time to time, I developed a fresh appreciation for my college education, too.)

They were pleased with our work. Indeed...that was another full day of effort that we relieved them of. The next morning, Ronin took us for the tour of the town.

I've spent some time in Biloxi from time to time, thanks to being military. The last time I was there, we'd gone down to see some of my cousins before I went to Iraq. I remember well what it looked like.

Also, I have seen hurricane devastation firsthand a few times before. I did get my undergrad degree from the University of North Carolina at Wilmington between '96 and '99. I drove along the beach after Fran came through and saw giant piers scattered along the beach like a pile of toothpicks and entire houses sheared off their foundations and dropped, sometimes intact, across the street. I worked as a temp as a clerk for an insurance adjusting company who were still settling claims for that one several months later. I've seen many pictures. But pictures don't convey the devastation. Television cannot convey the devastation, even if someone captures the storm in action committing some mindless, horrifying deed. You really don't understand what Mom Nature can do until you've seen an ocean front firsthand after a hurricane has hit.

All the same, I wish I had pics. The irony is, there was really nothing to take pictures of. Everything was truly wiped out.

Biloxi has always been, in my memory, not the bright-lights-big-city home of casinos and the nightlife, but a very old community of beautiful homes. Highway 90, which runs along the seawalk, was lined with antebellum mansions. The oak trees of their spacious yards were so huge and gnarled that you couldn't see the entire homes most of the time, and the sidewalks were losing the battle with the roots. The last time I was there, I ran down that sidewalk, being mindful of my steps lest I twist an ankle, enjoying the sea breezes and the view of the ancient homes.

With most of these homes, there's absolutely nothing left. Just giant piles of debris with smashed boards and tiles and shutters and glass mixed with dirt and whatever washed in with the storm surge. This is not like "the house is unlivable due to storm damage" sorts of complaints. This is simple "the house is no more." It's as if the houses were never there to begin with, so thorough is the destruction.

When I was last at Keesler for training, I was housed off-base in Ocean Springs in a good, solid, brick hotel a couple of miles inland. We received a safety briefing on the first day in which we were informed that if there was a hurricane, we were to come to base to one of the designated hurricane shelters. I raised my hand after this was delivered matter-of-factly and without comment and said, "Um...excuse me." It was a major who was giving the briefing and we were just butterbars, you understand. I said, "Why would we want to come to Keesler if we know a hurricane is coming?"

He said, "Because we have storm shelters. You'll be safe here. They're below ground, so they're well-protected."

I said, "Ahem. Excuse me. But. Are you familiar with the term 'storm surge'?" He just looked at me. I said, "Sir, in the event of a hurricane, the last place I want to be is closer to the ocean. On a sandbar. Surrounded by water on all sides. Below ground." I wasn't making a dent. I said, "Where I want to be is as far inland as I can possibly get."

No one else said anything. He sighed impatiently and said, "In the event of a hurricane warning, you will report to one of the hurricane shelters on Keesler or you will be AWOL."

I said, "With all due respect, sir, I'll risk AWOL." The discussion was dropped. No one else seemed to even be concerned with the utter idiocy of the hurricane contingency plan.

Now, four years later, I have been proven right with a vengeance. Keesler was under a great deal of water. They were forced to evacuate the base. The hotel where I was staying was untouched.

Nobody listens to lieutenants. :)

After a few minutes of driving up and down the beach, all the devastation became a giant blur. Ronin pointed out pile after pile of rubble, identifying it as a former surf shop or a church or a home or a restaurant. The IHOP we used to eat at is gone; it's just as well. They had great food but they were always overcrowded and never had enough parking. (Now they have plenty of parking....) There's an apartment building that caught a casino barge. That's heartbreaking. Ronin said 8 people were inside when it landed on the building and squashed it.

I can understand the utter despair of the people there, just from driving around several months after it happened and looking at the wreckage. Ronin said as bad as it looks now, it's 90% better than it was after the storm. The roads were impassable with the mounds of debris and uprooted oak trees and such....

It was an exhausting weekend, but I'm very pleased with my new friends, and pleased I got the chance to help, even if it was just a token gift, which is all I can afford at the moment.

d