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5 comments

Comment from: Hinermad [Visitor]
Hinermad

Diana,

I find that emotional moments, for me, come from two sources: a memory, or a breakthrough. Sometimes both, and ain’t that a rockin’ good time. (grin)

I’ll hazard a guess that you carry a little bit of the hero gene, the desire to be the knight in shining armor. You’ve made a career of service; your attitude about teaching is focused on making your cadets’ education worth every taxpayer penny spent on it. Don’t try to tell me it’s about the salary.

It’s natural for us born heros to want to help someone in distress. It’s what we do. (I have the same trait, as you might have guessed.) But there does come a time when we mature and see that what was once “helping” is actually “enabling.” That’s a breakthrough right there. But since it was your brother, I wonder if there might be more. Maybe the realization that during all the time you had “human feeling” for him, he had none for you. Perhaps you even knew it before, but kept it bottled up. Finally admitting it out loud can release a lot of other feelings that were bottled up, too.

I’m just shooting from the hip here, but what you describe sounds very familiar.

Anyway, congratulation on graduating to new jeans. Enjoy the cooler weather, and let us know when the snow reaches you.

Dave

10/09/07 @ 12:06
Comment from: [Member]

Hero gene, huh? Hm. I seem to have some of it. No argument there. It only sounds admirable…. &#59;)

You’re right, of course. I went from helping to enabling a long time ago, if I was ever helping at all. However, I have no doubt that he still has human feeling for me. I’ve never doubted that and don’t even now. Oddly, I get the impression that I’m one of the few people left in his life that he cares enough about to want to please. I think he called to ‘fess up because he was ashamed, and wanted to come clean (after a manner of speaking).

I just can’t help him anymore. I’ve wondered for years where my threshold was, or if I even had one. Then he crossed it.

Oh, and…I do it for the money. &#59;)

d

10/09/07 @ 21:18
Comment from: Helen [Visitor]  
Helen

Diana,
Let me just say, I’m very proud of you… I understand completely how you feel about your brother, and I have been in the same situation many times in the past, with many people. You did the right thing… take care of you… much love to you … and yours…
Your cuz..
Helen

10/12/07 @ 14:26
Comment from: Linda [Visitor]
Linda

Diana - I only just saw this post!

Let me join Dave and say I am also proud of you too. It is tough to do the tough love sometimes, but sometimes there is no other choice.

In the long run, you are doing him a favour.

All the best to you!

Linda

10/16/07 @ 19:00
Comment from: [Member]

I don’t know. I’m emotionally over it all (I think), but I suppose I will never know if I did the right thing. We never really know where the road not taken may have led, do we?

Be that as it may, I sincerely thank you all for your thoughts and support.

d

10/16/07 @ 21:39


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