Big whoop.
In order to make things more "homey" around here, TPTB brought in a Burger King, a Pizza Hut and a Subway. The BK and PH were here over a month ago, but the Subway's brand new. Until today, I hadn't bothered frequenting these establishments. I don't see much point, since my lack of appetite seems to be linked more to general discontentedness than the flavor of the available food (on second thought, perhaps a bit of each), I get more food than I can eat for free in any DFAC most hours of the day, and it's been my experience that American fast food overseas never tastes quite like American fast food is supposed to taste.
I was at SHAPE* a few years ago when a Taco Bell went in at Chievres AB. People actually drove in from Germany to eat at an authentic Taco Bell. I recall ordering three taco supremes and getting exactly what I asked for, except without sour cream or tomatoes. To those not in the know, those are just plain tacos--it's the tomatoes and sour cream that makes them (presumably) worth 30 cents more per taco. I took them back to the counter and pointed out that they'd given me the wrong kind, and they said, "Oh. We're out of sour cream and tomatoes." Of course, it hadn't crossed their mind to (1) post this tidbit of information for customer edification, or (2) mention it when a customer ordered and paid for taco supremes, among other things.
* Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe. Alternately, Super Holidays At Public Expense.
So today, we (Jeff and me) ended up in a planning meeting that was chaired by a CENTAF colonel visiting from Shaw AFB. We hadn't had breakfast yet. When the colonel began to talk, we realized he was planning to just hang out there all day. He'd certainly set up shop at the conference table, with laptop, internet connection, and files spread all around him. He'd brought a bevy of Army and Air Force officers who dealt with different areas of airfield planning. They all seemed to coalesce into little clutches of activity after his opening statements, drifting in and out of the room, wandering over to maps and discussing the finer points of who knows what.
I must have looked forlorn sitting there in the corner, practicing my handwriting, because the colonel turned to me and began explaining the purpose of the meeting, then handed me a draft organizational plan for short and long-term base planning, as though that would clear the fog. I dutifully read it, but confess that most words of such documents do not link in my brain into meaningful phrases or sentences. They're chock full of passive sentences, static verbs, strings of "responsibilies," embedded prepositional phrases and words that end in "ion" and "ability." In short, they're written expressly against the military's rules on clear writing.
After having finished reading it and gleaning almost nothing, I asked the colonel which meeting this was. The helpful document had mentioned different levels of planning groups (which makes sense) for base development. As far as I could tell, comm only fit in at the lowest level, with planning specific projects, but this meeting didn't seem to concern us. Upon further questioning, I discovered that this meeting wasn't any of the ones listed in the helpful document, but was in fact, intermediate. Basically, they just needed to know whether we had any plans to extend our infrastructure (and how and when and how much, etc), and whether we'd be able to support any projects they started. Oh.
These are things we don't just know off the tops of our heads. They are things our commander might know off the top of his head, but I still doubt it. They fluctuate with the tide, which is determined by our group and wing commanders, when they decide that X project must now take priority. This is the way of things. So we got the basics of the information he needs, and made our exit. But not in time for breakfast.
So we hit Burger King at Jeff's suggestion around 10:30. It's an "express" affair, of course. I ordered a Whopper. Just a Whopper. No cheese, no drink, no fries. If I wanted all that, I would have asked. Just a Whopper, thank you.
There was a badly-handwritten sign above the window where we ordered that said,
"Sorry"
NO lettice,
tomato or onion
due to convoy delays
So. A Whopper without "lettice," tomatoes or onions is...a hamburger. A big one, yes, but it ends up with the same condiments you'd get if you ordered a common Burger King burger.* The only difference is that you get sesame seeds on the bun.
* Trust me. I know how to build Burger King sandwiches.
So I just ate a hamburger. All told, I probably would have been better off to just go to the chow hall and get a burger. I haven't seen a condiment shortage there, yet.
I think I can easily wait until I get back home before I again attempt fast food.
d
