my life

As SOS continues....

I've finished three weeks out of five. I haven't been through a school so intense since OTS.

I started SOS, as mentioned, on short notice. I wasn't quite finished with the summer semester yet, so I double-timed for about 10 days, finishing a paper (on the use of Humor in Maus, a graphic novel about the Holocaust) and preparing for the final exam.

SOS, incidentally, is all-consuming. They give you more homework than you can possibly read (I should be attempting to struggle through it now, actually), and some rather intense assignments on short notice. The tests are comprehension-based, not knowledge-based, so straight memorization won't cut it; if you don't understand the concepts well enough to apply them to situations, you'll struggle. Flights are expected to study together and do what is called "teambuilding" in their off-duty hours. That is, they are expected to endure one another socially once a week, minimum.

Because of this, I procured a room on base. I stay there during the week, so as to avoid being disturbed by the headaches of home (as well as cutting down on wasted time driving to and fro). Despite this, I don't get much sleep.

So...it's intense. About ten days into it, I was playing flickerball, a game that is supposed to make me a better officer, and incurred an injury. I wasn't sure what I'd done to myself, only that it hurt. Being the hardcore runner I am, I didn't bother going to the doc, because I get little twinges and such all the time, and they don't mean anything, necessarily.

The problem was something like this: excruciating pain around the edge of my heel when I first got up in the morning, and later in the day. Between these times, it seemed to "warm up" or something, and the pain would subside. After a week of suffering and realizing it was getting worse and not better, I broke down and went to the doc.

The family practicioner who saw me asked when it had happened, and I said I did it playing flickerball.* But wait...I skipped some other stuff I wanted to bore you with.

* What the heck is flickerball? you're asking. It's an AF game designed to drive you batty with insane rules that make the game itself virtually unplayable. Details upon request.

We'd just gotten our "mid-term feedbacks," otherwise known as "peer smears." Military folk know this exercise. When you're thrown together as a team in these training situations, your teammates are expected to rate you on what you're doing right and wrong as a leader. I've been through this before, and wasn't terribly worried about what my peers might say about me. It's one of my strong points, I guess, that I really don't care what others think of me, for the most part (exceptions exist, but aren't common enough to be worthy of note). I credit my upbringing with this attitude. I was taught to be myself and do what I believe is right, and under such circumstances, don't be concerned with the opinions the world may have of me. It has served me well.

I was pleasantly surprised that so many people reacted positively to my personality, to be honest, so I wasn't really upset by the feedback. Someone told me I was "abrasive" and other hinted at it.* My flight commander, incidentally, discussed the points raised with me, with the understanding that we aren't out to change anyone's personalities and that these are just perceptions. I told him on this point ("abrasive") that I know I am, and that it isn't a characteristic I care to lose, because it has its purposes. Another way "abrasive" is expressed, incidentally, is "she says things without thinking." That's the perception. I think a lot, in fact. I'm aware of the possible repercussions of my words before I open my mouth, and I choose to say certain things anyway.

* Interestingly enough, my flight commander complimented me on my astute feedback to my peers on their briefing abilities in different areas, and said, "In most cases, you said what I would have said." I asked him about the "would have" bit, and he said, "I meant, what I did say." But that isn't correct. He didn't say the same thing as I did. He was more intent on encouragement than on correction and improvement. But then, perhaps I'm too focused on correction and improvement and don't pay enough attention to encouragement. Je ne sais pas.

So. I didn't learn anything new about myself on the feedback session. There's a predictable percentage of any given segment of the population who are offended by my personality, and a surprising percentage that understand where I'm coming from and dig it. With me, there is rarely middle ground. I haven't decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet.

Anyhow. I went to the GP about my rear paw, right? They took my blood pressure and pulse, like normal. When the doctor came in, he started asking me about my blood pressure. My blood pressure? Doc. See that thing at the end of my leg? That's why I'm here. It hurts. Can I get diagnosed and fixed, please?

No dice. He's asking me questions about a little 143/92 (or something close to that).

Blood pressure has never been meaningful to me. Every time someone takes it, they tell me what it is. I always ask what that means, because quite frankly, it has never been important enough to me to bother remembering that 120/80 or less is good, and anything less is progressively badder.

Now I'm paying attention. He suggested I self-monitor using the free machine at the gym on base and figure an average. If it stays high, I need to come see him.

So, I kept monitoring, and...it wasn't pretty. I just bought a digital automatic one at Wallyworld today, just in case I'm too stressed to go to the gym, so I can know just how stressed I am. I tested normal this evening. It certainly seems to be SOS related. Nonetheless, I will continue to monitor it. "The Silent Killer" is nothing to mess around with. If nothing else, 'tis valuable to know I have a propensity to hypertension.

So anyhow, the GP asked me a couple of questions about my foot injury and diagnosed it as Achilles tendonitis, proscribed vitamin M*, and issed me a set of crutches (at my request). He also put me on profile saying I can't run or play flickerball. I'm not terribly upset about the flickerball thing, to be honest. Anyway.

* Motrin

He also ordered me to see a physical therapist the first thing the next morning. This is a new PT (since my last sports-related injury); he hasn't even been here long enough to update his uniform from his last command. He is an athlete himself (a triathlete), and thus very interested and knowledgable about sports-related injuries.

He checked my foot and leg, mashing and squeezing up my Achilles tendon and calf muscle, watching me closely. He asked if it hurt, and I said it didn't...it felt pretty good, actually, and would he keep doing it? He said, "You don't have Achilles tendonitis."

I said, "You know, the pain was so unbearable yesterday morning that I could barely put weight on it for the first hour. This morning, it was almost back to normal. It doesn't really hurt." About this time, he grabbed a specific spot on my heel and pressed, and I came from together (but gracefully, you understand). He said, "I guess it does hurt today."

He said I have subtalar hypomobility. In layman's terms, that means the joint between my calcaneous and talus is subluxated. OK OK. In layman's terms, I have a jammed joint in my heel. The cure is to ice it to treat the swelling and pain, and grab, twist and yank occasionally until it pops. No kidding.

So while he's playing with my leg, see, he worked his way up my shin and of course, when he hit a certain spot, I came out of my chair with a quickness. He pointed out that I should treat my shin splints.

My shin splints are on the inside of the calf. Specifically--and I learnt this from him--it's my tibialis posterior that causes my problems. That is, 'tis the muscle the connects to the top 2/3rds of my tibia and fibula at the back, deep to the gastrocnemius and soleus, that goes to the inside of my foot and serves to hold my arch up. Clear? OK.

He said my problem in the first place is that I run wrong. I should be doing 90 rpms or better. Less than that, and I'm putting too much weight on the muscles for too long, and that's creating the chronic soreness. I can treat the problem by rubbing the muscle two or three minutes a day. I do this by finding the spot along the inside/underside of my tibia with my thumbs and rubbing until it hurts almost too much to take, but not quite.

So here I am, with a hypomobile subtalar, a sore tibialis posterior, and quantifiable proof that I'm stressed. I can't play flickerball, the bane of SOS, but at least most of my peers "get" my personality. Could be worse.

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